Musings of a Chaotic Mind

September 27, 2024September 16, 2024

DON’T MENTION YOU’RE KINKY UNTIL AFTER THREE DATES?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??

sky background with question marks that says Umm... what?

I waffled over the title of this one for a while, but you’ll see in a minute why I chose this.

There was a time when most people had to hide kink, even from their spouses. That obviously led to marrying vanilla people because…well, they didn’t talk about it before they were married. Sometimes you got lucky and found out later you were both kinky.

Usually you didn’t.

That led to an eventual choice for many people: sneak around to get your needs met, try to convert a vanilla spouse to kinky, or deny those needs for the length of your marriage. When I was still new to the scene, I met a lot of people who were just trying out the lifestyle in their 50’s, because they were widowed and finally free to do so.

I think we can all agree that no one wants to go back to that.

However, some recent posts and comments I’ve seen in a Facebook group took me by surprise. There seems to be an idea there, that when trying to date someone it is disrespectful to bring up kink until later, perhaps after multiple dates. I believe this is because they equate BDSM with sex and are trying to keep potential dates from making things sexual too early.

September 20, 2024September 20, 2024

Updates- Sorry Things Have Been Quiet

I know things have been quieter here over the summer. I’ve only posted a couple of educational articles, because I have been swamped in deadlines. And it was a busy summer!

Let me catch you up on what’s going on with me and what’s next on the agenda.

August 23, 2024August 20, 2024

KINKY MEMORIES: THE REN FAIRE

For those of you who are kinky and have gone to Ren Faires, you know that they are excellent places to let your kinky side show a tiny bit. Obviously, we’re not talking full-fledged exposure or anything, but when it comes to your clothing choices… well, leather is encouraged.

Collars, cuffs, and even the occasional flogger hanging from your belt are not out of place there. And as if to encourage the kinky crowd, you’ll find that many Ren Faires have stocks set up, not just for display, but to be used. Most people get in them for fun photos. “Oh, Look. I’m in the stocks for being bad! Hahaha”

ACTION DADDY FIVE PRE-ORDER

Just a quick author announcement. My next book Bride of the Daddy (Action Daddy Book Five) is up for pre-order now and will be releasing on August 19th.

While my blog here is a labor of love, my books are how I pay the bills. So, if you enjoy kinky romance with lots of detail, plot, character development, and graphic scenes of kink and sex, then you might enjoy my books.

The Action Daddy series is a DDlg romance with authentic emotions and realistic relationship development.

Graphic contains pictures of all five Action Daddy books. These covers are meant to look like movie posters. Each one shows a sexy older man in the front and in back there is a shadowed action scene from his movie on one side and a picture of romance on the other side.

Bride of the Daddy (Action Daddy Book Five)

Universal series link here: https://mybook.to/ActionDaddySeries

Saving the world. Gunfights at high noon. Battling alien monsters.
It’s all in a day’s work for Daddy Dom Mitch James.

As an A-list action star, he’s been chasing the Hollywood dream for more than half his life. He has two Oscars on his shelf and more movie roles than he can count tucked under his belt.

None of it matters without his babygirl and fiancé, Olivia, and now he’s going to make it official.

It has all led to this.

With patience, understanding, and a little necessary discipline, it seems like Olivia’s worries have finally been laid to rest. Plans for the Hollywood wedding of the season are well under way… until a last-minute disaster throws the entire production into danger.

Now, with Olivia on the verge of panicking, he’s starting to worry he might have a runaway bride situation on his hands, if they don’t figure things out quickly.

Join Mitch and Olivia for the thrilling conclusion of the Action Daddy Franchise and find out if it will end in happily ever after… or heartbreak.

July 26, 2024July 20, 2024

THE DIFFICULT JOURNEY TO LEARNING HOW TO SAY NO 2/2- LETTING YOUR SUBMISSIVE SIDE HELP

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

Last week we talked about basic skills that can help you learn to say no to people in your life. These are the basic tools that you can use anywhere, in any situation, and are just, in general, really good things to practice.

Today we’re going to focus more specifically on the BDSM side of things, but keep in mind that the skills in Part One can still be helpful in kink situations because they are easily adaptable. This part is just more BDSM centered and is going to be more nuanced.

I’ve always said that BDSM can help your life if you are engaged in healthy dynamics, and this is another aspect of that. It might sound counterintuitive, but your submissive inclinations can be used to keep you from spreading yourself too thin.

Part Two— Letting your submissive side help.

We’re going to talk about some different mindsets that might help you focus on your decisions, so you’re not obeying on autopilot. The goal is for you to make the choice to submit, and I’m going to be honest, submission feels more satisfying when you choose to do it.