Informative/ How-to – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

May 19, 2023May 3, 2023

Ethical Bratting 101

Ethical bratting is one of those phrases I’ve been using for so long, that I’m not sure if I made it up or just heard it somewhere. When I was new to the scene, I was a brat, like many new submissives.

And don’t get me wrong, I can still be bratty with certain people. We all have bratty moments, I think. But I no longer identify as a brat and haven’t for a very long time.

It’s the easiest transition to submitting because in a lot of ways it replicates what we experience in childhood. Someone in authority gives us rules. We break them. We get punished — rinse and repeat.

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March 24, 2023March 19, 2023

My Favorite Sensation Toy– The Wartenberg Wheel

I recently wrote about an implement I hate: the cane. The article was deeper than that and discussed something more important than my preferences, which is that it’s fine to avoid certain toys if they upset you. It doesn’t matter how iconic a part of the scene they are.

But it did inspire me to think about other toys and I thought I would write about one I love today. The Wartenberg wheel, also called a pinwheel. It’s actually a medical device used to test nerve reactions and sensitivity.

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February 24, 2023February 7, 2023

Fiction Is Not A How-To Manual

In full disclaimer I didn’t make this meme. Most of the things I post on this blog, are obviously things I’ve made or own, but this is just something I found floating around Facebook. I strongly agree with it, so I wanted to discuss it today.

The meme says “If your moral code is strong enough that you are able to consume media with themes of cannibalism critically, but know it is bad to do so in real life, then that same logic can be applied to other themes/nsfw depictions in fiction. Just say it isn’t your thing and go.”

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January 13, 2023January 29, 2023

Exploring a Kink Relationship Safely (Part Two): Important Questions and Conversation Techniques

In part one we discussed how the Scene has changed positively with the past couple of generations coming in, and how popular media has also changed things, not always for the positive. We discussed abusive dynamics and the damage they can cause to your future relationships.

You can find the whole article here: https://kessilylewel.com/2023/01/06/exploring-a-kink-relationship-safely-part-one/

Now we’re going to discuss important questions you should be asking in the very early stages of talking with a potential play partner, as well as how you should be bringing up these questions to get the most honest results.

November 11, 2022October 26, 2022

The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie

I was going through my spanking implement bin this week and I was thinking about how many of those toys I’ve had since way back in the beginning. Many of them were handmade, or normal house items we appropriated, and I kept them because of fond memories.

I still also have the first real implements I bought or were gifted to me. With care, many of these things will last a lifetime—though we’ve broken our share of paddles and had leather fall apart at times.

We have a lot of toys because we like a variety of sensation. Each toy gives you a completely different result, so when picking one you really need to think about what effect you want. If you’re new you might not know what you like yet, and that’s okay. You have plenty of time to explore and learn.

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