Relationships – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

January 9, 2026January 9, 2026

COMMON MISTAKES: TAKING ON TOO MUCH

While I’ve been on hiatus here for the past month, deep in Krampus writing/editing, I’ve been adding to my list of article ideas. I’m constantly on the lookout for quick and easy ideas, because as you’ve noticed… most of my articles are pretty long by blog standards.

I like to get very in-depth on subjects. (My books reflect that too. I’m big on backstory, plot, and detail.) I also like to give examples, so that people who are new to all of this can understand a little easier.

So, it’s hard for me to come up with quick blog ideas to fill in between the longer ones. And often what I think will be a short topic… isn’t. Oops.

November 7, 2025November 7, 2025

WHAT IS A ‘POWER DYNAMIC’?

sky background with question marks that says Umm... what?

I use the phrase ‘power dynamic’, or just ‘dynamic’ a lot in my articles, because when it comes to BDSM relationships, power and who holds it, is a huge part of everything. When you submit, you choose to give up your power to a dominant partner. When you enter a D/s relationship you are entering a power exchange where you negotiate which partner holds the authority and what the limits of that authority would be.

But recently in a book group I saw someone ask what the phrase ‘power dynamic’ meant. I realized I’d never really defined it here.

IS BDSM ALWAYS ABOUT PAIN?

The belief that BDSM always includes pain is a common misconception. People who are curious about BDSM, new to exploring, or have only read/seen it in fiction tend to think that everything about BDSM hurts, either mentally or physically. And it’s true that there are a lot of kinky activities that do include some level of pain.

July 25, 2025July 20, 2025

NOT ALL EXPERIENCE IS EQUAL

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

I realize the title may sound a little judgmental, but it’s not meant to be. Hold on with me for a few minutes, and I’ll explain. When it comes to life, we have, what I like to call, narrow experience and wide experience.

WHAT IS FINANCIAL DOMINATION (FINDOM)?

There have always been relationships that are built on financial considerations. One example, historically, would be the bride price. The prospective groom (or his family) would pay the bride’s family for his wife. This was considered the norm in many cultures, and is different from a dowry, which was a much more complicated transaction.