Safety – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

February 13, 2026February 14, 2026

THERE ARE NO HARD AND FAST RULES

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

Is it too early in the year for a controversial topic? I did hold off until February, but this one has been nagging me.

If you’ve been around a while, you may have noticed I don’t approach things the way a lot of BDSM/Lifestyle blogs do. They focus on ideal situations, on best case scenarios, and they often give the impression that everyone should automatically be taking what they think is the safest path.

I used to read plenty of them, and I would get so frustrated because I couldn’t relate to any of it. It wasn’t what I saw at parties and clubs. It wasn’t what I lived and what other kinky friends were living.

January 30, 2026January 14, 2026

ROMANCE BOOKS ARE NOT REALITY

There are two major problems that come up with how people relate to romance novels.

People go crazy over a popular novel and start trying to incorporate the things from the book into their life, without doing proper research first.
People get angry because things in a novel aren’t realistic enough in them.

July 25, 2025July 20, 2025

NOT ALL EXPERIENCE IS EQUAL

I realize the title may sound a little judgmental, but it’s not meant to be. Hold on with me for a few minutes, and I’ll explain. When it comes to life, we have, what I like to call, narrow experience and wide experience.

SPOTTERS—KEEPING YOU SAFE, WHEN YOU CAN’T

A couple months back, I mentioned the concept of Spotters, and at that time I made a note to write an article about it, so I added it to the idea pile. Last month I had an e-mail asking for more information, so I moved it up to the top of the list.

This is your reminder that if you have ideas for things you’d like me to write about, or if I mention something you would like more information on, you can always use the contact button to e-mail me. It helps to know what readers are interested in, and I often plan based on that.

But let’s discuss Spotters.

April 11, 2025April 11, 2025

BEING LITTLE DURING SCARY TIMES

For a Little, the ability to slip into a younger mindset, and bring their inner child out into the world to play can be a gift. It is a way to escape stress, relax, and just have fun. For people who have to be in control too much, it’s a way of forcing themselves to let go.

If you normally struggle to let other people take care of you, being in Little space can suddenly make it easier for you to accept help. Most Littles, by their nature, enjoy being indulged and cared for, at least to a certain extent. That’s really what the Little experience is about. Letting go of control, and allowing someone else to look after you for a while.