limits – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

So, a couple weeks ago, we talked about whether withholding affection was abusive or not. The topic came up, as many do here, because of a question I saw online. In this case, there was a book scene where the Daddy withheld affection from the Little as punishment, and it seemed abusive to some readers.

I covered that topic pretty thoroughly, I think, and you can read it here: Is Withholding Affection as Punishment Abuse?

But to sum it up… it really depends on the people involved and what their limits are. It’s easy to view things through a lens of our own experiences, but what looks like abuse to you… might be perfectly fine for someone else. Everyone tolerates different things.

I mentioned at the time that I had a perfect example of this, and I was going to discuss it in a separate post, because it combined well with another topic—and here we are.

Not too long ago I posted this article: Finding Your Level in Kink, and I think a lot of that is relevant to this conversation if you’d like to check it out. I’ll try not to repeat too much of it here, but it focused a bit on gatekeeping and people who like to bar the door to those who enjoy milder, or different play.

Sometimes those people can be you… and the insecurities and fears in your own mind.

So, this time I’d like to focus a bit more on the internal fears and worries that someone who is interested in the scene might have.

“Can I still be part of the scene if I have a lot of triggers and limits?” This question came from an email through the blog recently, which put it back in my mind, but it’s not the first time I’ve seen people worried about this.

Tag: limits

When Boundaries and Limits Conflict

Can I Still Be Part of the Scene If I Have a Lot of Triggers and Limits?