The creations of Kessily Lewel (and Sadie Marks)
The belief that BDSM always includes pain is a common misconception. People who are curious about BDSM, new to exploring, or have only read/seen it in fiction tend to think that everything about BDSM hurts, either mentally or physically. And it’s true that there are a lot of kinky activities that do include some level of pain.
Continue reading “IS BDSM ALWAYS ABOUT PAIN?”
A kink is often described as a sexual activity that falls outside the norm. That is an inadequate definition, in my opinion, and needs to be modernized and updated.
Any BDSM educator will tell you that not everything we do in BDSM or in the ‘scene’ is sexual in nature, or a sexual turn on to both parties participating.
But there is no other way to really describe wanting/needing certain activities even when it doesn’t turn you on. There’s no other word to describe a love of bondage, spanking, etc other than calling it a kink… even though your need may not be sexual in nature.
Read more: The Definition of Kink Needs an Update Continue reading “The Definition of Kink Needs an Update”
We recently talked about Impact Play here. I had actually intended to post this article first, but I realized it made more sense to wait until after I posted the one on Impact Play, since one of the things a lot of people love about that kind of BDSM are the marks it leaves behind.
This article will be a bit longer, because I want to discuss why so many people love to wear the marks of their play, but also talk about ways to avoid marks that last longer, like bruising.
Why do so many submissives love to wear marks?
If you are a sub or bottom of whatever type, who enjoys spanking, then chances are you know what I’m talking about right now. There is nothing quite like looking at the aftermath of a good spanking or paddling, and seeing all the red marks and maybe even some bruises that are left behind.
Continue reading “Bruising And Marks”
There is an old parable called ‘The Blind Men and the Elephant’. The oldest version of it came from a Buddhist text from 500BCE. It’s a story about a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, and who learn what the elephant is like by touching it.
Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant, but only one part, such as the side or the tail. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are all very different because they only explored a small piece of it.
You can probably guess what this article is about from the title, but it’s not just about canes. It’s also about past trauma, baggage, and phobias.
When we entire the scene, very few of us come in with a blank slate. Even if we’ve never played in a BDSM context before, there are still things in our past that will affect how we react to certain things in scenes.
But what does that have to do with canes?
Well… I know a lot of people who adore canes. The sensations, they say, are exquisite, and they will go into great detail about why canes are the ideal spanking toy. You’d think, listening, that the cane is able to transport you to another world… and for some people it can do that.
Musings of a Chaotic Mind 