Relationship Issues – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

September 10, 2021September 10, 2021

Manage Your Expectations

This article has been on my mind for a while now, but I’ve had trouble getting the words right. Usually if I wait long enough things will more-or-less form up in my head and then I can spill them out in one long whoosh.

That didn’t seem to be happening with this one and then I realized it was because I was working with the wrong title.

I started out with: Subs Are Not Children. And that’s true. Even if the sub identifies as a Little or a Brat, they aren’t children. The distinction between a childish headspace and a child is hugely important for many reasons.

But that’s not really what I want to discuss right now, so I gave it a title that more accurately reflects what I was trying to say: Manage your expectations. That is nice and compact, but it’s also a bit vague.

August 13, 2021August 4, 2021

What Do I Do If My Needs Aren’t Being Met?

My last serious blog post discussed relationship maintenance, especially where it applies to D/s partners. The importance of occasionally going through your rules and protocols to discuss what’s working and what isn’t, cannot be underestimated.

January 8, 2021December 10, 2020

Covid Silence and How It’s Affecting Relationships

A more serious topic for us today after the relaxed December month. Covid Silence is a term I made up to describe the way everyone is kind of pulling into themselves right now. Between the depression, the wish to avoid mentions of the pandemic, and just in general not having much to chat about means a lot of people are going quiet.

For me the hardest part of living in a pandemic has been that silence and difficulty in communicating. It’s amazing how much the daily chatter dies down when no one leaves their house, or does anything fun to share.

October 10, 2020October 3, 2020

BDSM and Self Harm Part Two(TW: Self Harm)

I’m going to start with another warning. I know we went over it yesterday, but today is a new day and a new situation. Please take a moment to make sure you’re in a good place to continue this conversation. Police your own triggers by making sure you can handle reading this before continuing, as there will be info that could potentially trigger people.

There were certain things that needed to go in the first post. I already knew it was going to be on the long side and I had to be careful where I ended it, so this might feel a little disjointed, but I want to revisit a few things.

October 9, 2020October 3, 2020

BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)

This is part one of a pretty heavy topic, but one that I think could be really useful to some people right now. And because of the emotional nature of the theme, breaking it into a lot of sections is difficult so this first piece is very long.

This blog doesn’t usually dive into mental illness, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. That’s not my focus; I’m here about the kinky lifestyle. However, it’s impossible to ignore the cross-over and at times there will be topics that get into that—this is one of them.