Relationships – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

November 7, 2025November 7, 2025

WHAT IS A ‘POWER DYNAMIC’?

sky background with question marks that says Umm... what?

I use the phrase ‘power dynamic’, or just ‘dynamic’ a lot in my articles, because when it comes to BDSM relationships, power and who holds it, is a huge part of everything. When you submit, you choose to give up your power to a dominant partner. When you enter a D/s relationship you are entering a power exchange where you negotiate which partner holds the authority and what the limits of that authority would be.

But recently in a book group I saw someone ask what the phrase ‘power dynamic’ meant. I realized I’d never really defined it here.

NOT ALL EXPERIENCE IS EQUAL

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

I realize the title may sound a little judgmental, but it’s not meant to be. Hold on with me for a few minutes, and I’ll explain. When it comes to life, we have, what I like to call, narrow experience and wide experience.

JUST ASK!

There is a stereotype out there, that says women don’t ask for what they want. They dance around, and hint, and never actually just spit out a request. It leaves the men fumbling around trying to figure things out, and failing because they’ve been given no information to work with.

Yeah… It’s not true.

Sure, there are people who do this, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with gender. If I was going to make this about gender, I might say I notice it more with men, because they were always told they weren’t supposed to have needs. Needs aren’t manly. So expressing any is just really hard.

Or worse…some were taught that men don’t ask, they take.

But this isn’t about gender.

It is about submissives though.

April 25, 2025April 11, 2025

SPOTTERS—KEEPING YOU SAFE, WHEN YOU CAN’T

A couple months back, I mentioned the concept of Spotters, and at that time I made a note to write an article about it, so I added it to the idea pile. Last month I had an e-mail asking for more information, so I moved it up to the top of the list.

This is your reminder that if you have ideas for things you’d like me to write about, or if I mention something you would like more information on, you can always use the contact button to e-mail me. It helps to know what readers are interested in, and I often plan based on that.

But let’s discuss Spotters.

April 11, 2025April 11, 2025

BEING LITTLE DURING SCARY TIMES

For a Little, the ability to slip into a younger mindset, and bring their inner child out into the world to play can be a gift. It is a way to escape stress, relax, and just have fun. For people who have to be in control too much, it’s a way of forcing themselves to let go.

If you normally struggle to let other people take care of you, being in Little space can suddenly make it easier for you to accept help. Most Littles, by their nature, enjoy being indulged and cared for, at least to a certain extent. That’s really what the Little experience is about. Letting go of control, and allowing someone else to look after you for a while.