I recently wrote about an implement I hate: the cane. The article was deeper than that and discussed something more important than my preferences, which is that it’s fine to avoid certain toys if they upset you. It doesn’t matter how iconic a part of the scene they are.
But it did inspire me to think about other toys and I thought I would write about one I love today. The Wartenberg wheel, also called a pinwheel. It’s actually a medical device used to test nerve reactions and sensitivity.
Read more: My Favorite Sensation Toy– The Wartenberg Wheel
Continue reading “My Favorite Sensation Toy– The Wartenberg Wheel”
You can probably guess what this article is about from the title, but it’s not just about canes. It’s also about past trauma, baggage, and phobias.
When we entire the scene, very few of us come in with a blank slate. Even if we’ve never played in a BDSM context before, there are still things in our past that will affect how we react to certain things in scenes.
Read more: I Hate Canes and That’s Okay!
Continue reading “I Hate Canes and That’s Okay!”
But what does that have to do with canes?
Well… I know a lot of people who adore canes. The sensations, they say, are exquisite, and they will go into great detail about why canes are the ideal spanking toy. You’d think, listening, that the cane is able to transport you to another world… and for some people it can do that.
I was going through my spanking implement bin this week and I was thinking about how many of those toys I’ve had since way back in the beginning. Many of them were handmade, or normal house items we appropriated, and I kept them because of fond memories.
I still also have the first real implements I bought or were gifted to me. With care, many of these things will last a lifetime—though we’ve broken our share of paddles and had leather fall apart at times.
We have a lot of toys because we like a variety of sensation. Each toy gives you a completely different result, so when picking one you really need to think about what effect you want. If you’re new you might not know what you like yet, and that’s okay. You have plenty of time to explore and learn.
Read more: The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie
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You’re probably getting tired of the aftercare posts. Ironically the more I write about a topic, the more questions I hear about it. Since a lot of my posts are guided by questions I get… sometimes we ended up with multiple posts about a single topic in a short time. Sorry about that!
Because I’ve done several aftercare posts in the past couple of months, I’ve spent a lot of time comparing how fiction presents aftercare and how it tends to happen in real life, which can be quite different.
The specific question this time was, “We never used to see aftercare mentioned in books, but now we see it constantly. Is it a new concept?”
Continue reading “Is Aftercare A New Concept?”
Not too long ago I posted this article: Finding Your Level in Kink, and I think a lot of that is relevant to this conversation if you’d like to check it out. I’ll try not to repeat too much of it here, but it focused a bit on gatekeeping and people who like to bar the door to those who enjoy milder, or different play.
Sometimes those people can be you… and the insecurities and fears in your own mind.
So, this time I’d like to focus a bit more on the internal fears and worries that someone who is interested in the scene might have.
Continue reading “Can I Still Be Part of the Scene If I Have a Lot of Triggers and Limits?”
“Can I still be part of the scene if I have a lot of triggers and limits?” This question came from an email through the blog recently, which put it back in my mind, but it’s not the first time I’ve seen people worried about this.