Structure and No Leniency

The thing about being a submissive is that your needs tend to be fluid. Your Dominant has to be able to follow the changes with you. Rules, if you have them, need to grow with your needs. Sometimes one becomes superfluous, maybe you’ve outgrown the need for it; other times it becomes clear that there is a lack that needs to be corrected. People change constantly so it’s really important that the people involved in the relationship occasionally discuss and consider these rules to make sure that they still fit the person you are now. Continue reading “Structure and No Leniency”

Dealing with subdrop

This isn’t a fun post, but I think it’s a useful one. More importantly, it’s one that I needed to write for myself, and I hope other people will find it a helpful read too. It’s timely since I’ve just come back from a wonderful week with my Dominants in Canada. I thought I’d get my thoughts in order before I started to head downwards emotionally, but I didn’t quite make it. So, there is a gap between when I started this and when I finished, but hopefully everything is still fresh enough on my mind.

Continue reading “Dealing with subdrop”

Submissives hold all the power…or do they?

Submissives hold all the power…or do they?

So, we here in the world of consensual BDSM play, yes that does include the milder side streets of domestic discipline and spanking, talk a lot about how the submissive or bottom has all the power in the relationship. I’m going to say something controversial here because I don’t believe this is true or should be true.

Continue reading “Submissives hold all the power…or do they?”