The thing about being a submissive is that your needs tend to be fluid. Your Dominant has to be able to follow the changes with you. Rules, if you have them, need to grow with your needs. Sometimes one becomes superfluous, maybe you’ve outgrown the need for it; other times it becomes clear that there is a lack that needs to be corrected. People change constantly so it’s really important that the people involved in the relationship occasionally discuss and consider these rules to make sure that they still fit the person you are now. Continue reading “Structure and No Leniency”
This isn’t a fun post, but I think it’s a useful one. More importantly, it’s one that I needed to write for myself, and I hope other people will find it a helpful read too. It’s timely since I’ve just come back from a wonderful week with my Dominants in Canada. I thought I’d get my thoughts in order before I started to head downwards emotionally, but I didn’t quite make it. So, there is a gap between when I started this and when I finished, but hopefully everything is still fresh enough on my mind.
Submissives hold all the power…or do they?
So, we here in the world of consensual BDSM play, yes that does include the milder side streets of domestic discipline and spanking, talk a lot about how the submissive or bottom has all the power in the relationship. I’m going to say something controversial here because I don’t believe this is true or should be true.
Everyone still with me? If you haven’t read part one you should probably go back and read that first. What this story is describing is how to punish a submissive who gets turned on by being in trouble, using sex. We’re about to get to the good part now. (graphic sexy stuff and spanking)
Continued from: When your D/s relationship is out of the norm (part one)
Now that we’ve gone through a few different examples of D/s relationships let’s get back to my situation. I’m afraid that after giving you all those lovely descriptions, I’m not actually going to apply them to myself. They was more to open your mind to the various possibilities, so I won’t get into the exact nature of all my relationships or detail what I do and with who, because there are things we like to keep private. What I am going to do is give you a basic idea of how this works mostly by focusing on my relationship with K and W.