‘Subs Have All the Power’ is Wrong and We Should Stop Using It

It feels like we haven’t had a controversial topic in a while, but this one has been on my list for a couple of years. I’m going to say this will probably only sound controversial until you read what I have to say and think about it for a minute.

I’m going to explain why I absolutely detest the phrase ‘The subs have all the power in a D/s relationship.’ So, sit back and buckle up because this is going to be a ride.

In the days when kink was still a hush-hush ‘don’t let the neighbors know kind of thing’, you know, before it got kicked into mainstream by 50Shades, this phrase was used as the default to explain why BDSM was not abuse. It couldn’t possibly be abuse because subs have alllll the power.

How do you abuse someone who is actually sneakily, despite what it looks like, the real boss? You can’t, of course.

Continue reading “‘Subs Have All the Power’ is Wrong and We Should Stop Using It”

BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)

This is part one of a pretty heavy topic, but one that I think could be really useful to some people right now. And because of the emotional nature of the theme, breaking it into a lot of sections is difficult so this first piece is very long.

This blog doesn’t usually dive into mental illness, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. That’s not my focus; I’m here about the kinky lifestyle. However, it’s impossible to ignore the cross-over and at times there will be topics that get into that—this is one of them.

Continue reading “BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)”

Sub Frenzy

Someone recently asked a question in a comment on my Sub Drop post. They wanted to know about sub frenzy and I realized it’s a topic I haven’t covered before. It’s not actually even a phrase I hear mentioned very often.  Which is crazy because it accurately describes a situation that every sub goes through at one time or another.

I think it’s not well known yet because the term has only been around for a few years. At least, I never heard the term until a few years ago. Anyway, I gave them a quick answer at the time, but promised to expand later because it really needed a full article. Continue reading “Sub Frenzy”

Anniversaries and Reflection

Today is a special day for three reasons. On the professional front… well, three years ago today, June 15th, 2017 to be exact, my first book A Haunting Experience was due to release. It actually didn’t come out until the 16th but today was the scheduled release day. That means I’ve officially been an author for three years now. Prior to that I was just a professional writer with hundreds of published stories to my credit. Continue reading “Anniversaries and Reflection”