“Don’t Hit Girls!” (Getting Your Partner to be Rougher)

This post is mostly going to focus on women with male partners. It might apply to other relationship dynamics, but one question I see asked a lot, mostly by women with male partners, is: “How do I get my husband/boyfriend to be rougher with me? He’s always afraid he’ll hurt me.”

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Bruising And Marks

We recently talked about Impact Play here. I had actually intended to post this article first, but I realized it made more sense to wait until after I posted the one on Impact Play, since one of the things a lot of people love about that kind of BDSM are the marks it leaves behind.

This article will be a bit longer, because I want to discuss why so many people love to wear the marks of their play, but also talk about ways to avoid marks that last longer, like bruising.

Why do so many submissives love to wear marks?

If you are a sub or bottom of whatever type, who enjoys spanking, then chances are you know what I’m talking about right now. There is nothing quite like looking at the aftermath of a good spanking or paddling, and seeing all the red marks and maybe even some bruises that are left behind.

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What is Impact Play?

This should be a fairly short article because it’s not a very complicated subject… for a change.

I’m sure you’ve heard the term Impact Play and you probably have a general idea of what it means. It is in the name after all. And on a surface level it’s pretty simple, but people can have a vague idea without entirely understanding the definition. Since Impact Players are probably the biggest group in the BDSM world, it’s a good one to flesh out.

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Let’s Talk About Service Subs

People are often confused about the various types of submissives in the scene. Some aren’t aware that there is more than one way to be a sub. Others know there are multiple ways, but aren’t really sure what the difference is. And some… well, they like to gatekeep and say that submission only counts if you do it in the way they expect.

But the truth is… there are many different roles that fall under the header of submissive.

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Finding Time To Be Little

I saw a comment from someone in a group recently about really needing some Little time, but just not having the time or space for it. As I was replying to them, I realized it was probably an issue many people have. So here we are with a whole article about it.

How do you balance that need for some completely relaxed, stress-free, inner child time… with the overwhelming demands of adult life?

And…

When do you stop and take a moment to enjoy that Little headspace, when it seems like you have a never ending list of responsibilities to take care of?

In my experience, if you find yourself really needing Little time and you don’t take it, keep pushing your Little side down because it’s not convenient, eventually your Little will break out—and probably at the worst possible time.

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