interesting topics – Page 2 – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

May 9, 2025April 18, 2025

JUST ASK!

There is a stereotype out there, that says women don’t ask for what they want. They dance around, and hint, and never actually just spit out a request. It leaves the men fumbling around trying to figure things out, and failing because they’ve been given no information to work with.

Yeah… It’s not true.

Sure, there are people who do this, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with gender. If I was going to make this about gender, I might say I notice it more with men, because they were always told they weren’t supposed to have needs. Needs aren’t manly. So expressing any is just really hard.

Or worse…some were taught that men don’t ask, they take.

But this isn’t about gender.

It is about submissives though.

February 28, 2025August 22, 2025

WHAT DOES BEING COLLARED MEAN?

This seems like a pretty basic question on the surface, but when you dive deep, you find it’s a lot more complex. And, as with many things in the Scene, the meaning depends on the people involved.

Simply put, a collar is usually defined as a band that you wear around your throat. It can be made from almost any material: lace, leather, metal, velvet. And by itself it doesn’t need to have any sort of meaning.

February 7, 2025February 17, 2025

DISABILITY AND KINK

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

This is a subject that really doesn’t need a long, complicated article. It’s actually pretty simple, but it is a topic that needs to be talked about more. As we go into this, please realize that people prefer different words to describe these things, and it can be a sensitive subject.

People with disabilities and impairments exist, and many of them are kinky. I don’t know why this comes as a surprise to some people, but it does.

December 13, 2024November 22, 2024

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD FOR THE LIFESTYLE?

When I entered the scene, years ago, I was young, barely an adult. I was about twenty the first time I played with someone. Twenty-one when I went to my first party. I was prepared for all of it, luckily, because I’d been reading everything I could find online about The Scene, Kink, and BDSM since I first got my own computer.

There weren’t a ton of sources to be honest, not factual ones anyway. Not non-fiction websites and pages that I could go to for real information. However, since the moment the Internet existed, kinky people have been posting spanking fiction on it. And that I found plenty of.

October 11, 2024September 25, 2024

DOM, DOMME, OR DOMINATRIX?

Let’s talk about the FemDom side of BDSM.

There are a lot of Dominant women in the BDSM world, more every year, I’d say. I was lucky that some of my earliest events were run by women, so I started off thinking it was entirely normal to have a large number of female Dominants around.

I later found that to be a little misleading. They are there… but typically at most events and clubs I find the number of male Dominants vastly outweighs the female. This, along with… shall we say, ‘historical views on women’ means that sometimes the female Doms don’t get as much respect as they should.