The creations of Kessily Lewel (and Sadie Marks)
This post is mostly going to focus on women with male partners. It might apply to other relationship dynamics, but one question I see asked a lot, mostly by women with male partners, is: “How do I get my husband/boyfriend to be rougher with me? He’s always afraid he’ll hurt me.”
Read more: “Don’t Hit Girls!” (Getting Your Partner to be Rougher) Continue reading ““Don’t Hit Girls!” (Getting Your Partner to be Rougher)”
We recently talked about Impact Play here. I had actually intended to post this article first, but I realized it made more sense to wait until after I posted the one on Impact Play, since one of the things a lot of people love about that kind of BDSM are the marks it leaves behind.
This article will be a bit longer, because I want to discuss why so many people love to wear the marks of their play, but also talk about ways to avoid marks that last longer, like bruising.
Why do so many submissives love to wear marks?
If you are a sub or bottom of whatever type, who enjoys spanking, then chances are you know what I’m talking about right now. There is nothing quite like looking at the aftermath of a good spanking or paddling, and seeing all the red marks and maybe even some bruises that are left behind.
Continue reading “Bruising And Marks”
This should be a fairly short article because it’s not a very complicated subject… for a change.
I’m sure you’ve heard the term Impact Play and you probably have a general idea of what it means. It is in the name after all. And on a surface level it’s pretty simple, but people can have a vague idea without entirely understanding the definition. Since Impact Players are probably the biggest group in the BDSM world, it’s a good one to flesh out.
Continue reading “What is Impact Play?”
There is an old parable called ‘The Blind Men and the Elephant’. The oldest version of it came from a Buddhist text from 500BCE. It’s a story about a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, and who learn what the elephant is like by touching it.
Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant, but only one part, such as the side or the tail. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are all very different because they only explored a small piece of it.
Fiction is pretty much always the gateway to kink when kids are growing up, I think. I mean no kids are out there stumbling across instruction manuals for BDSM. They see the cartoons with everyone getting spanked, the old sitcoms with wives getting punished.
Then you have the more modern shows where both men and woman get spanked, but usually now in sexy situations instead of discipline. Maybe they see some spankings in old kid’s books, or read stories about it happening—and that’s how they find out that there is something weirdly compelling about all of it.
It’s weird being kinky as a kid because you can literally hate being punished—and avoid it at all costs, but then… seeing someone else get punished is just completely enthralling and you don’t know why.
Continue reading “Growing Up Kinky: Finally Finding Some Non-Fiction Information on BDSM.”
Musings of a Chaotic Mind 