interesting topics – Page 6 – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

April 14, 2023May 1, 2023

Growing Up Kinky: Fiction That Shaped Me

These days if you want to read about non-fiction kink or learn about BDSM there are a million websites to look at. There are tons of real resources and blogs from people who know what they’re talking about.

And if websites aren’t enough and you want books, every kind of kink can easily be found by searching on Amazon. For those who prefer to hold a book in their hands before they buy it, most chain bookstores, like B&N, have plenty on the shelves you can flip through.

In other words the information is all over the place.

But it didn’t used to be like that. When I was in high school, Amazon didn’t exist yet, and the local bookstores, even the chains, had very little on kink. You might find half a shelf in the sexuality section if you were lucky.

February 24, 2023February 7, 2023

Fiction Is Not A How-To Manual

In full disclaimer I didn’t make this meme. Most of the things I post on this blog, are obviously things I’ve made or own, but this is just something I found floating around Facebook. I strongly agree with it, so I wanted to discuss it today.

The meme says “If your moral code is strong enough that you are able to consume media with themes of cannibalism critically, but know it is bad to do so in real life, then that same logic can be applied to other themes/nsfw depictions in fiction. Just say it isn’t your thing and go.”

‘Subs Have All the Power’ is Wrong and We Should Stop Using It

It feels like we haven’t had a controversial topic in a while, but this one has been on my list for a couple of years. I’m going to say this will probably only sound controversial until you read what I have to say and think about it for a minute.

I’m going to explain why I absolutely detest the phrase ‘The subs have all the power in a D/s relationship.’ So, sit back and buckle up because this is going to be a ride.

In the days when kink was still a hush-hush ‘don’t let the neighbors know kind of thing’, you know, before it got kicked into mainstream by 50Shades, this phrase was used as the default to explain why BDSM was not abuse. It couldn’t possibly be abuse because subs have alllll the power.

How do you abuse someone who is actually sneakily, despite what it looks like, the real boss? You can’t, of course.

January 13, 2023January 29, 2023

Exploring a Kink Relationship Safely (Part Two): Important Questions and Conversation Techniques

In part one we discussed how the Scene has changed positively with the past couple of generations coming in, and how popular media has also changed things, not always for the positive. We discussed abusive dynamics and the damage they can cause to your future relationships.

You can find the whole article here: https://kessilylewel.com/2023/01/06/exploring-a-kink-relationship-safely-part-one/

Now we’re going to discuss important questions you should be asking in the very early stages of talking with a potential play partner, as well as how you should be bringing up these questions to get the most honest results.

November 11, 2022October 26, 2022

The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie

I was going through my spanking implement bin this week and I was thinking about how many of those toys I’ve had since way back in the beginning. Many of them were handmade, or normal house items we appropriated, and I kept them because of fond memories.

I still also have the first real implements I bought or were gifted to me. With care, many of these things will last a lifetime—though we’ve broken our share of paddles and had leather fall apart at times.

We have a lot of toys because we like a variety of sensation. Each toy gives you a completely different result, so when picking one you really need to think about what effect you want. If you’re new you might not know what you like yet, and that’s okay. You have plenty of time to explore and learn.