Safety – Page 4 – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

July 28, 2023July 20, 2023

The Blind Men and the Elephant (AKA There is No One True Way)

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

There is an old parable called ‘The Blind Men and the Elephant’. The oldest version of it came from a Buddhist text from 500BCE. It’s a story about a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, and who learn what the elephant is like by touching it.

Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant, but only one part, such as the side or the tail. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are all very different because they only explored a small piece of it.

July 7, 2023June 29, 2023

What Is Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)?

The phrase, Consensual Non-Consent, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies a sex or kink act where non-consensual things happen, which isn’t the case. Informed consent is always involved with CNC.

However, the activities may look non-consensual even though they aren’t, because consent has already been established at another time.

March 24, 2023March 19, 2023

My Favorite Sensation Toy– The Wartenberg Wheel

I recently wrote about an implement I hate: the cane. The article was deeper than that and discussed something more important than my preferences, which is that it’s fine to avoid certain toys if they upset you. It doesn’t matter how iconic a part of the scene they are.

But it did inspire me to think about other toys and I thought I would write about one I love today. The Wartenberg wheel, also called a pinwheel. It’s actually a medical device used to test nerve reactions and sensitivity.

I Hate Canes and That’s Okay!

You can probably guess what this article is about from the title, but it’s not just about canes. It’s also about past trauma, baggage, and phobias.

When we entire the scene, very few of us come in with a blank slate. Even if we’ve never played in a BDSM context before, there are still things in our past that will affect how we react to certain things in scenes.

But what does that have to do with canes?

Well… I know a lot of people who adore canes. The sensations, they say, are exquisite, and they will go into great detail about why canes are the ideal spanking toy. You’d think, listening, that the cane is able to transport you to another world… and for some people it can do that.

Fiction Is Not A How-To Manual

In full disclaimer I didn’t make this meme. Most of the things I post on this blog, are obviously things I’ve made or own, but this is just something I found floating around Facebook. I strongly agree with it, so I wanted to discuss it today.

The meme says “If your moral code is strong enough that you are able to consume media with themes of cannibalism critically, but know it is bad to do so in real life, then that same logic can be applied to other themes/nsfw depictions in fiction. Just say it isn’t your thing and go.”