Submissive Life – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

September 12, 2025September 5, 2025

HELP FOR THE HELPLESS SUBS (AND EVERYONE ELSE)

Let me start by saying that BDSM submissives aren’t really helpless. In fact, some of the strongest people I know are submissives, and they are real fighters. Being submissive never automatically means you need someone to take care of you. I know submissives who run companies, who are lawyers, doctors… so yeah, your orientation in the D/s world really doesn’t affect how strong you are, or your ability to take care of yourself.

However, for certain people, submission goes beyond a D/s dynamic. It’s their core personality, and that may, or may not, be combined with a D/s orientation.

August 22, 2025August 22, 2025

IS BDSM ALWAYS ABOUT PAIN?

The belief that BDSM always includes pain is a common misconception. People who are curious about BDSM, new to exploring, or have only read/seen it in fiction tend to think that everything about BDSM hurts, either mentally or physically. And it’s true that there are a lot of kinky activities that do include some level of pain.

July 25, 2025July 20, 2025

NOT ALL EXPERIENCE IS EQUAL

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

I realize the title may sound a little judgmental, but it’s not meant to be. Hold on with me for a few minutes, and I’ll explain. When it comes to life, we have, what I like to call, narrow experience and wide experience.

JUST ASK!

There is a stereotype out there, that says women don’t ask for what they want. They dance around, and hint, and never actually just spit out a request. It leaves the men fumbling around trying to figure things out, and failing because they’ve been given no information to work with.

Yeah… It’s not true.

Sure, there are people who do this, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with gender. If I was going to make this about gender, I might say I notice it more with men, because they were always told they weren’t supposed to have needs. Needs aren’t manly. So expressing any is just really hard.

Or worse…some were taught that men don’t ask, they take.

But this isn’t about gender.

It is about submissives though.

April 25, 2025April 11, 2025

SPOTTERS—KEEPING YOU SAFE, WHEN YOU CAN’T

A couple months back, I mentioned the concept of Spotters, and at that time I made a note to write an article about it, so I added it to the idea pile. Last month I had an e-mail asking for more information, so I moved it up to the top of the list.

This is your reminder that if you have ideas for things you’d like me to write about, or if I mention something you would like more information on, you can always use the contact button to e-mail me. It helps to know what readers are interested in, and I often plan based on that.

But let’s discuss Spotters.