Ignore The One True Wayers – Your Kink Doesn’t Need To Follow Anyone Else’s Rules

I apologize in advance because this is a long one.

From the title I bet you can guess what we’re going to discuss today. People who decide that their way to kink is the only way to kink are bad for the community. It’s a form of gatekeeping and it takes away people’s right to decide for themselves.

Continue reading “Ignore The One True Wayers – Your Kink Doesn’t Need To Follow Anyone Else’s Rules”

BDSM and Self Harm Part Two(TW: Self Harm)

I’m going to start with another warning. I know we went over it yesterday, but today is a new day and a new situation. Please take a moment to make sure you’re in a good place to continue this conversation. Police your own triggers by making sure you can handle reading this before continuing, as there will be info that could potentially trigger people.

There were certain things that needed to go in the first post. I already knew it was going to be on the long side and I had to be careful where I ended it, so this might feel a little disjointed, but I want to revisit a few things.

Continue reading “BDSM and Self Harm Part Two(TW: Self Harm)”

BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)

This is part one of a pretty heavy topic, but one that I think could be really useful to some people right now. And because of the emotional nature of the theme, breaking it into a lot of sections is difficult so this first piece is very long.

This blog doesn’t usually dive into mental illness, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. That’s not my focus; I’m here about the kinky lifestyle. However, it’s impossible to ignore the cross-over and at times there will be topics that get into that—this is one of them.

Continue reading “BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)”

When Should You Negotiate Before a Scene?

This is an important topic and one that I don’t see discussed enough. Many misunderstandings that happen in a scene come from people looking at things in different ways and not realizing it. What’s normal and obvious for one person, might not be that plain for someone else. When you think you’re on the same page and you aren’t… that’s when things can go wrong.

Continue reading “When Should You Negotiate Before a Scene?”