bdsm – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

May 19, 2023May 3, 2023

Ethical Bratting 101

Ethical bratting is one of those phrases I’ve been using for so long, that I’m not sure if I made it up or just heard it somewhere. When I was new to the scene, I was a brat, like many new submissives.

And don’t get me wrong, I can still be bratty with certain people. We all have bratty moments, I think. But I no longer identify as a brat and haven’t for a very long time.

It’s the easiest transition to submitting because in a lot of ways it replicates what we experience in childhood. Someone in authority gives us rules. We break them. We get punished — rinse and repeat.

Topping From The Bottom – Part Two

So last week we discussed topping from the bottom. I described what it was, and why it’s often not such horrible thing. But what we didn’t discuss is how to tell the difference between communication and topping from the bottom.

As I’ve said, sometimes Doms confuse asking for things with topping from the bottom. Those are two very different things. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want. Communication is the sign of a healthy relationship.

So…

April 28, 2023May 1, 2023

Topping From The Bottom – Part One

Let’s talk about topping from the bottom. If you search the topic online, you’ll pull up tons of articles saying why it’s B-A-D.

This accusation has been leveled at subs, of all types, for decades, but what does it actually mean? Are you doing it without being aware? Is it really a huge problem?

This is a big topic with a lot of facets to discuss so I’ll be breaking it up into two sections.

What is Topping from the bottom?

March 24, 2023March 19, 2023

My Favorite Sensation Toy– The Wartenberg Wheel

I recently wrote about an implement I hate: the cane. The article was deeper than that and discussed something more important than my preferences, which is that it’s fine to avoid certain toys if they upset you. It doesn’t matter how iconic a part of the scene they are.

But it did inspire me to think about other toys and I thought I would write about one I love today. The Wartenberg wheel, also called a pinwheel. It’s actually a medical device used to test nerve reactions and sensitivity.

I Hate Canes and That’s Okay!

You can probably guess what this article is about from the title, but it’s not just about canes. It’s also about past trauma, baggage, and phobias.

When we entire the scene, very few of us come in with a blank slate. Even if we’ve never played in a BDSM context before, there are still things in our past that will affect how we react to certain things in scenes.

But what does that have to do with canes?

Well… I know a lot of people who adore canes. The sensations, they say, are exquisite, and they will go into great detail about why canes are the ideal spanking toy. You’d think, listening, that the cane is able to transport you to another world… and for some people it can do that.