If your Doms don’t make you mad sometimes there might be a problem.

I try really hard to be inclusive of everyone and every possible relationship setup when I write these blog posts. So, I don’t make a lot of definitive statements like, “If you do this you are wrong!” Every submissive is unique, every Dominant is unique, so of course each relationship is going to be different. But in my experience if you don’t get mad at your Dominant now and then there is usually a problem because with real submission there needs to be both challenge and growth and neither of those come without frustration. Continue reading “If your Doms don’t make you mad sometimes there might be a problem.”

Structure and No Leniency

The thing about being a submissive is that your needs tend to be fluid. Your Dominant has to be able to follow the changes with you. Rules, if you have them, need to grow with your needs. Sometimes one becomes superfluous, maybe you’ve outgrown the need for it; other times it becomes clear that there is a lack that needs to be corrected. People change constantly so it’s really important that the people involved in the relationship occasionally discuss and consider these rules to make sure that they still fit the person you are now. Continue reading “Structure and No Leniency”

Why do I have Dominants?

Hello everyone! Hope your week is going well. Today’s post is going to be interesting because it’s a punishment.

So, when I started this blog I intended to write from the perspective of what I am, a writer, and discuss things in a theoretical sense, and not as someone who lives these things or experiences them. That lasted for about two posts I think, before I realized that’s not really who I am or how I want to run this blog.

What I really am is a submissive, and I’ve been pretty much open about that my whole life, except when it came to my day job where it wouldn’t have been appropriate or gone over well. Once I stopped having a day job I felt I was finally free to express myself openly, without fear of how people would react, and I dropped the last of my pretenses, or so I thought.

Continue reading “Why do I have Dominants?”

Spanking: Discipline or pleasure, and how to manage both. (Part Two)

Spanking: Discipline or pleasure, and how to manage both. (Part Two)
*If spanking turns you on can it actually be punishment? And how do you do it?  *

Yep, it sure can. There are some deep-level masochists/pain sluts who can literally turn all pain into pleasure, and in their case maybe not (There is an ‘except’ here that I’ll get into in a minute). The rest of us fall on a spectrum. I enjoy a certain amount of pain, and then it stops being fun. The thing about punishments is that you don’t get to say “Okay, I’m done now, thanks!” when you reach that limit.

Continue reading “Spanking: Discipline or pleasure, and how to manage both. (Part Two)”