The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie

I was going through my spanking implement bin this week and I was thinking about how many of those toys I’ve had since way back in the beginning. Many of them were handmade, or normal house items we appropriated, and I kept them because of fond memories.

I still also have the first real implements I bought or were gifted to me. With care, many of these things will last a lifetime—though we’ve broken our share of paddles and had leather fall apart at times.

We have a lot of toys because we like a variety of sensation. Each toy gives you a completely different result, so when picking one you really need to think about what effect you want. If you’re new you might not know what you like yet, and that’s okay. You have plenty of time to explore and learn.

Read more: The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie Continue reading “The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie”

Finding Your Level in Kink

A lot of people who start exploring the kink world begin with some spicy foreplay. A little domination in bed, a little spanking during sex, that kind of thing. For some people it never goes any further than that. And that’s perfectly okay!

I saw someone asking a question recently in a BDSM group. They felt awkward about being there and weren’t sure if they should be. They didn’t know if they belonged in a kink group or could call themselves a sub.

They had some curiosity about learning how things worked, but so far, their only interests were very mild. They talk about how their main fantasies were just about being spanked during sex, but they didn’t think they really enjoyed pain.

Most of the comments were pretty reassuring and accepting but a few gatekeepers slipped in with things like “You sound pretty vanilla to me. This probably isn’t your thing.” Hinting that they should just go.

Things like that really make me grit my teeth. If you’ve followed me for long you’ve probably noticed that one of the few things I get on my soap box about, are gatekeepers who try to say there is only one way to do kink. They think anything outside their narrow view is just wrong, or abuse, or doesn’t count.

Continue reading “Finding Your Level in Kink”

Figging and Using Ginger in Your Play

I could have sworn I’d done an article on figging already, but I looked, and I couldn’t find it. I think I might possibly have done an abbreviated version in a larger post, rather than doing one on its own. So, I guess it’s time.

Figging is the act of inserting a piece of ginger into an orifice. Most commonly we hear about it being used in anal play. However, you can actually do it in the vagina and in the urethra as well.

Continue reading “Figging and Using Ginger in Your Play”

BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)

This is part one of a pretty heavy topic, but one that I think could be really useful to some people right now. And because of the emotional nature of the theme, breaking it into a lot of sections is difficult so this first piece is very long.

This blog doesn’t usually dive into mental illness, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. That’s not my focus; I’m here about the kinky lifestyle. However, it’s impossible to ignore the cross-over and at times there will be topics that get into that—this is one of them.

Continue reading “BDSM and Self Harm Part One (TW: Self Harm)”