I was going through my spanking implement bin this week and I was thinking about how many of those toys I’ve had since way back in the beginning. Many of them were handmade, or normal house items we appropriated, and I kept them because of fond memories.
I still also have the first real implements I bought or were gifted to me. With care, many of these things will last a lifetime—though we’ve broken our share of paddles and had leather fall apart at times.
We have a lot of toys because we like a variety of sensation. Each toy gives you a completely different result, so when picking one you really need to think about what effect you want. If you’re new you might not know what you like yet, and that’s okay. You have plenty of time to explore and learn.Read more: The Best (and Safest) Spanking Toys for a Newbie
As exciting as starting to experiment is, I wouldn’t bother rushing out to buy fancy toys. After all, historically speaking most spankings were given with objects around the house and you can always find plenty to use once you look.
And let’s not forget the oldest implement of all—the hand. You can have a lot of fun and get practice on how to give and receive a spanking just using the hand and it’s going to be safer than any implement. But I know that as soon as people start exploring, they begin thinking about all the toys they’ve fantasized about: belts, hairbrushes, whips, canes… the list goes on.
It’s hard to hold back and stick with just a handspanking when there are so many other options out there so it’s never long before people start wanting to experiment.
I have a couple posts about kinkables/pervertables—using regular house items in kink. You can find one here: Spankables Around the House if you’re looking for some ideas of things you probably already have or can purchase easily at the nearest store.
You don’t need to go looking for the good well-crafted stuff until you’re ready. I’m always a big fan of saving money until you know what you want and need. If you rush out immediately, you’ll probably end up with toys that you hate and never use.
So let’s start off simple and work our way through.
The main two sensations you get from spanking are sting and thud, but those aren’t the only two and some implements blur the lines.
Thud usually comes from wood. The thicker the wood, the heavier the thudding sensation.
Wood isn’t the only material a thuddy toy can be made from, it’s just the most common. I have a heavy metal paddle that is rarely used for spanking because of the weight. It causes some deep bruising when it is used. (I do love putting it in the freezer to use as a cold-sensation toy though.)
Thud implies a more solid impact that settles in deep. It can cause bruising or an ache all the way down in the muscle. The effects last much longer and many people into spanking like to feel like they’ve been spanked for as long as possible.
Sting is more of a surface level burning sensation. It tends to come from a more flexible implement. Leather is probably what pops into your mind first, but anything whippy can give a lot of sting.
You can also have wooden implements that are more sting than thud if they are thin, or supple, like a switch.
Thud and Sting come together sometimes. There are heavy straps, thickly cut, or multi-layered that will sear the skin but still sink in deep. A thick wooden paddle will bring thud, but several coats of laminate over the wood will add sting as well.
Both sensations at once might be a little overwhelming and make the scene shorter as the dual intensity builds. An experienced player often likes to alternate to get both sensations. The more temporary stinging sensation mixed with the longer-lasting thud can give you nice results.
But I suggest new players lean more toward sting. As I said before, thud can cause longer-lasting effects and bruising. It’s also slightly more dangerous since it’s easier to cause damage by accident when you aren’t used to using the heavier implements.
Sting will give you a nice temporary sensation of spanking, but it won’t last long. The benefits of this are being able to play more often, not having to worry about bruising more than you expected, and also, it’s harder to cause any lasting damage.
From a Top perspective sticking with sting in the beginning is a good idea because someone who is new to spanking might not be entirely prepared for the spankee to kick and struggle. Remember, even when you consent to spanking and want to be spanked, staying still can be hard once the pain start to build.
The struggling makes it harder to hit only the safe zones and there can be a learning curve to dealing with it. A sudden hand flung back to cover the butt at the wrong time can end up getting smacked even when the spanker is experienced. If you are using a stingy toy, then there is less chance of hurting the hand.
With a belt you might get a welt across it but usually nothing that will last. With a paddle there is danger of breaking bones and that’s the last thing you want.
Something whippy and light like a switch can be used over most of the body without causing any real harm, but a paddle is limited to just a few areas so your aim needs to be spot on. It is easy, when the sub is wiggling, to hit too high and catch the lower back. You want to avoid that obviously since there are organs and the spine there.
From a bottom perspective, sticking to sting when you’re new is a good idea because with thud, you will bruise a lot in the beginning. Most people have no idea how much they will bruise until they’ve played a few times, and this is very different from one person to the next.
Heck it’s different in the same person from one month to the next.
When diving into the BDSM games everyone wants the traditional implements first and that’s fine. A hairbrush is usually at the top of the list and many people have a fetish over the whole hairbrush over-the-knee spanking thing, which is also fine.
You can buy the light plastic hairbrushes which are more sting than thud. You can buy the wooden ones with the thin backs, which will also lean more towards sting. Thin, wooden kitchen spoons are also great wooden items to begin with.
You just want to avoid the thick, heavy wood as much as possible until you get some experience. If you really want to include it early on, I suggest using it sparingly, maybe as a powerful end note to the scene. Go with sting for the majority of the spanking and then as you start to wrap up, finish with a few whacks of the paddle.
Another type of implement I would avoid when you’re new is canes. A lot of people fetishize those as well, but they take some practice to use properly. And there are a lot of types of canes, each has a very different result. Some can be quite devastating.
If you do want to try canes early on, go for the ‘nursery cane’ style. Those are very similar to switches and are thin and whippy. While a switch can leave tiny cuts on the skin, larger canes can literally split the skin open if you aren’t careful.
So you definitely want to start with the lighter version, and I also suggest practicing on a pillow. One of the important things about caning, is that you want a row of nice even parallel lines going down, and you want to avoid crossing or layering them unless you are looking for a hardcore experience.
I don’t like canes personally, but the people I know who are very skilled with them, started out by practicing before they used them on a person. You can rub baby powder or flour on the cane and then practice hitting a pillow with a dark pillowcase. It will show the lines clearly and you can get the hang of how to place them.
With care, you should be able to safely explore spanking, even with implements of various types. The key is to be cautious with new toys. Take the time to learn how to use them, and test the effects as you slowly increase the strength behind the swats.