Informative/ How-to – Page 3 – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

November 3, 2023November 3, 2023

Bruising And Marks

We recently talked about Impact Play here. I had actually intended to post this article first, but I realized it made more sense to wait until after I posted the one on Impact Play, since one of the things a lot of people love about that kind of BDSM are the marks it leaves behind.

This article will be a bit longer, because I want to discuss why so many people love to wear the marks of their play, but also talk about ways to avoid marks that last longer, like bruising.

Why do so many submissives love to wear marks?

If you are a sub or bottom of whatever type, who enjoys spanking, then chances are you know what I’m talking about right now. There is nothing quite like looking at the aftermath of a good spanking or paddling, and seeing all the red marks and maybe even some bruises that are left behind.

October 13, 2023October 5, 2023

What is Impact Play?

This should be a fairly short article because it’s not a very complicated subject… for a change.

I’m sure you’ve heard the term Impact Play and you probably have a general idea of what it means. It is in the name after all. And on a surface level it’s pretty simple, but people can have a vague idea without entirely understanding the definition. Since Impact Players are probably the biggest group in the BDSM world, it’s a good one to flesh out.

July 28, 2023July 20, 2023

The Blind Men and the Elephant (AKA There is No One True Way)

Black and grey background with the words: Learning Safely.

There is an old parable called ‘The Blind Men and the Elephant’. The oldest version of it came from a Buddhist text from 500BCE. It’s a story about a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, and who learn what the elephant is like by touching it.

Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant, but only one part, such as the side or the tail. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are all very different because they only explored a small piece of it.

July 7, 2023June 29, 2023

What Is Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)?

The phrase, Consensual Non-Consent, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies a sex or kink act where non-consensual things happen, which isn’t the case. Informed consent is always involved with CNC.

However, the activities may look non-consensual even though they aren’t, because consent has already been established at another time.

May 19, 2023May 3, 2023

Ethical Bratting 101

Ethical bratting is one of those phrases I’ve been using for so long, that I’m not sure if I made it up or just heard it somewhere. When I was new to the scene, I was a brat, like many new submissives.

And don’t get me wrong, I can still be bratty with certain people. We all have bratty moments, I think. But I no longer identify as a brat and haven’t for a very long time.

It’s the easiest transition to submitting because in a lot of ways it replicates what we experience in childhood. Someone in authority gives us rules. We break them. We get punished — rinse and repeat.