The high maintenance submissive

I feel like I’m really high maintenance. My bossy people tell me that I’m not, that my needs are reasonable, but it never feels like that to me. Anytime I get in trouble or ask for something, I feel like I’m too much work and I cringe and try to withdraw. I will put off asking for something I know is a need, for months sometimes, rather than lay it out to be discussed because of this fear I have.
Somewhere along the path I got this idea that being submissive meant being useful without having any needs. I mean, I didn’t just stumble over the idea on the ground and carry it home to keep forever because it sparkled.

Continue reading “The high maintenance submissive”

Wearing a Collar

A collar is not made of leather. It isn’t made from metal either. It doesn’t have to fit around your neck. It can be anything at all, because a collar is an idea. A concept—a symbol of commitment in a relationship where one person submits their will to another.

Of course, we’re speaking specifically of the kind of collar a submissive wears. There are other kinds of collars and they can be nothing more than a clothing accessory—but with the right context it can be everything.

I’ve had more than a few collars in my life. Some I bought myself to wear because I liked the look and it’s always fun to wear an obviously “BDSM” collar around your neck, especially when you go to a fetish event so everyone knows you’re a submissive. For a while they were in style and you could get them everywhere in velvet, satin, or even leather, and when you walked around in a public place and saw someone wearing one you got to wonder if they were a submissive, or if they just thought it was cute. Maybe they saw yours and wondered too.

Continue reading “Wearing a Collar”

Counting down

Counting down

Five.

The number five never used to catch my attention so thoroughly as it does now. There’s a reason for that. My bossy people have decided that I evade way too much. And it’s true. I don’t like to answer difficult questions, so I will pretend I haven’t heard them and change the subject.

A lot of times this isn’t a matter of confessing about breaking a rule or anything like that. That does come up now-and-then, but mostly it centers around conversations of things I need, things I’m feeling, or something that’s off emotionally. In short, the kinds of things my Dominants should be aware of.

Continue reading “Counting down”

Why do I have Dominants?

Hello everyone! Hope your week is going well. Today’s post is going to be interesting because it’s a punishment.

So, when I started this blog I intended to write from the perspective of what I am, a writer, and discuss things in a theoretical sense, and not as someone who lives these things or experiences them. That lasted for about two posts I think, before I realized that’s not really who I am or how I want to run this blog.

What I really am is a submissive, and I’ve been pretty much open about that my whole life, except when it came to my day job where it wouldn’t have been appropriate or gone over well. Once I stopped having a day job I felt I was finally free to express myself openly, without fear of how people would react, and I dropped the last of my pretenses, or so I thought.

Continue reading “Why do I have Dominants?”