I feel like I’m really high maintenance. My bossy people tell me that I’m not, that my needs are reasonable, but it never feels like that to me. Anytime I get in trouble or ask for something, I feel like I’m too much work and I cringe and try to withdraw. I will put off asking for something I know is a need, for months sometimes, rather than lay it out to be discussed because of this fear I have.
Somewhere along the path I got this idea that being submissive meant being useful without having any needs. I mean, I didn’t just stumble over the idea on the ground and carry it home to keep forever because it sparkled.
Continue reading “The high maintenance submissive”
A collar is not made of leather. It isn’t made from metal either. It doesn’t have to fit around your neck. It can be anything at all, because a collar is an idea. A concept—a symbol of commitment in a relationship where one person submits their will to another.
Of course, we’re speaking specifically of the kind of collar a submissive wears. There are other kinds of collars and they can be nothing more than a clothing accessory—but with the right context it can be everything.
I’ve had more than a few collars in my life. Some I bought myself to wear because I liked the look and it’s always fun to wear an obviously “BDSM” collar around your neck, especially when you go to a fetish event so everyone knows you’re a submissive. For a while they were in style and you could get them everywhere in velvet, satin, or even leather, and when you walked around in a public place and saw someone wearing one you got to wonder if they were a submissive, or if they just thought it was cute. Maybe they saw yours and wondered too.
Continue reading “Wearing a Collar”
The number five never used to catch my attention so thoroughly as it does now. There’s a reason for that. My bossy people have decided that I evade way too much. And it’s true. I don’t like to answer difficult questions, so I will pretend I haven’t heard them and change the subject.
A lot of times this isn’t a matter of confessing about breaking a rule or anything like that. That does come up now-and-then, but mostly it centers around conversations of things I need, things I’m feeling, or something that’s off emotionally. In short, the kinds of things my Dominants should be aware of.
Continue reading “Counting down”
Hello everyone! Hope your week is going well. Today’s post is going to be interesting because it’s a punishment.
So, when I started this blog I intended to write from the perspective of what I am, a writer, and discuss things in a theoretical sense, and not as someone who lives these things or experiences them. That lasted for about two posts I think, before I realized that’s not really who I am or how I want to run this blog.
What I really am is a submissive, and I’ve been pretty much open about that my whole life, except when it came to my day job where it wouldn’t have been appropriate or gone over well. Once I stopped having a day job I felt I was finally free to express myself openly, without fear of how people would react, and I dropped the last of my pretenses, or so I thought.
Continue reading “Why do I have Dominants?”