I’ve been writing a lot about rules lately, so this article felt like it was long overdue. What I’d like you to do is read the title and put an emphasis on with. Making rules /with/ your submissive. What I see too often, both in fiction and in real life, is that the Dom simply hands down a list of rules that they think are in the best interests of the submissive, without actually discussing it with them.
Letting punishments go can be bad for your D/s relationship, but sometimes you might need to work around issues that pop up. You might want to read part one first : Letting Punishments Go Can be Unhelpful
So what if the Dom is trying to let something slide but the submissive keeps doing it? Or they come right out and say they feel bad about something they’ve done, but the Dom doesn’t want to punish for it? I often hear subs complaining about Doms not being consistent with the punishments. Making threats but not following through.
Not all D/s relationships have the kind of structure where the Dom makes rules and dispenses punishment. But when you do include them in your D/s it’s important to follow through when the submissive breaks the rules. Some Dominants have trouble giving punishments and that’s okay, but if punishment isn’t something you can handle then you probably shouldn’t be making real rules.
This article is continued from Part One
People who are new to D/s often struggle with what kind of rules to incorporate in their relationship, if any. In the first section of this article we talked about daily rules and why we use them. Whether or not you want to have them is going to depend on the kind of relationship you have, but I do think small things like this are really important.
I realized while writing this that it was running a bit long, so I’ve decided to break it in half. My normal readers should be used to that. For anyone new to the blog… sorry, but I often have a lot to say when I’m talking about relationship dynamics.
And one quick announcement for you since I just got some news: Taken By the Renegade has been accepted by my publisher. I won’t have a release date for a while yet but I expect we’re looking at around March. Continue reading “Daily Rules and How They Work”