D/s dynamics – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

September 10, 2021September 10, 2021

Manage Your Expectations

This article has been on my mind for a while now, but I’ve had trouble getting the words right. Usually if I wait long enough things will more-or-less form up in my head and then I can spill them out in one long whoosh.

That didn’t seem to be happening with this one and then I realized it was because I was working with the wrong title.

I started out with: Subs Are Not Children. And that’s true. Even if the sub identifies as a Little or a Brat, they aren’t children. The distinction between a childish headspace and a child is hugely important for many reasons.

But that’s not really what I want to discuss right now, so I gave it a title that more accurately reflects what I was trying to say: Manage your expectations. That is nice and compact, but it’s also a bit vague.

August 13, 2021August 4, 2021

What Do I Do If My Needs Aren’t Being Met?

My last serious blog post discussed relationship maintenance, especially where it applies to D/s partners. The importance of occasionally going through your rules and protocols to discuss what’s working and what isn’t, cannot be underestimated.

July 9, 2021July 3, 2021

So… Isn’t It Time for You to Do Some Relationship Maintenance?

It came on me out of the blue that it was time for this in my own life, so I’m passing it on to you. This serves as a reminder that if you want your relationships to last they should be fluid and able to change as you and your partners do.

That means your rules and relationship expectations need to be discussed too. Depending on how in flux your lives are that can mean having these discussions fairly often, but even if everything is stable and you’re content it’s still a good idea to pull things apart now and then. So….

June 25, 2021June 5, 2021

Brats! Are They Subs or What?

This is going to be a super quick one. Just kidding. You know it won’t be. It seems like a simple question on the surface, right? “Are brats subs?”

April 16, 2021April 5, 2021

Can you be a feminist and a submissive?

I usually try to be more inclusive with pronouns, but this topic seems very specific to submissive women who submit to men so I’m going to focus on M/F, but there are many parts of this that are going to apply to the role regardless of gender so bear that in mind.

It’s no secret that some feminists have conflicts with submissive women. The concept that feminism gives us the right to CHOOSE to submit is often lost in the translation. Not only do you have the right to submit, but you have the right to be a housewife, and a stay-at-home mother, and still be feminist. The whole point of feminism is that no one is telling us who we have to be.