The creations of Kessily Lewel (and Sadie Marks)
This post is mostly going to focus on women with male partners. It might apply to other relationship dynamics, but one question I see asked a lot, mostly by women with male partners, is: “How do I get my husband/boyfriend to be rougher with me? He’s always afraid he’ll hurt me.”
Read more: “Don’t Hit Girls!” (Getting Your Partner to be Rougher) Continue reading ““Don’t Hit Girls!” (Getting Your Partner to be Rougher)”
People are often confused about the various types of submissives in the scene. Some aren’t aware that there is more than one way to be a sub. Others know there are multiple ways, but aren’t really sure what the difference is. And some… well, they like to gatekeep and say that submission only counts if you do it in the way they expect.
But the truth is… there are many different roles that fall under the header of submissive.
Read more: Let’s Talk About Service Subs Continue reading “Let’s Talk About Service Subs”
There is an old parable called ‘The Blind Men and the Elephant’. The oldest version of it came from a Buddhist text from 500BCE. It’s a story about a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, and who learn what the elephant is like by touching it.
Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant, but only one part, such as the side or the tail. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are all very different because they only explored a small piece of it.
The phrase, Consensual Non-Consent, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies a sex or kink act where non-consensual things happen, which isn’t the case. Informed consent is always involved with CNC.
However, the activities may look non-consensual even though they aren’t, because consent has already been established at another time.
Continue reading “What Is Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)?”
Ethical bratting is one of those phrases I’ve been using for so long, that I’m not sure if I made it up or just heard it somewhere. When I was new to the scene, I was a brat, like many new submissives.
And don’t get me wrong, I can still be bratty with certain people. We all have bratty moments, I think. But I no longer identify as a brat and haven’t for a very long time.
It’s the easiest transition to submitting because in a lot of ways it replicates what we experience in childhood. Someone in authority gives us rules. We break them. We get punished — rinse and repeat.
Read more: Ethical Bratting 101 Continue reading “Ethical Bratting 101”
Musings of a Chaotic Mind 