The creations of Kessily Lewel (and Sadie Marks)
I told you I was working hard on these! You’ll never know how stressful it was to pull this series together, so I hope you find some use in it. I will be setting this up to post a new piece in the series every Friday so it will be nice and steady. Continue reading “Blog post: Long Distance D/s series: part 1— How does it work?”
The thing about being a submissive is that your needs tend to be fluid. Your Dominant has to be able to follow the changes with you. Rules, if you have them, need to grow with your needs. Sometimes one becomes superfluous, maybe you’ve outgrown the need for it; other times it becomes clear that there is a lack that needs to be corrected. People change constantly so it’s really important that the people involved in the relationship occasionally discuss and consider these rules to make sure that they still fit the person you are now. Continue reading “Structure and No Leniency”
People shy away from talking about abuse in the BDSM scene for good reason—it wasn’t too long ago that the mainstream world thought all Dominants were abusive, and all submissives were victims, and that both sides were crazy to boot. I promised myself when I really got into the blogging that I wasn’t going to avoid the unpleasant topics, and I wasn’t going to censor myself to please everyone so we’re going to talk about abuse, how to know if it’s happening, and how to deal with vanilla people who can’t tell the difference. Continue reading “The difference between controlling behavior and domination”
This isn’t a fun post, but I think it’s a useful one. More importantly, it’s one that I needed to write for myself, and I hope other people will find it a helpful read too. It’s timely since I’ve just come back from a wonderful week with my Dominants in Canada. I thought I’d get my thoughts in order before I started to head downwards emotionally, but I didn’t quite make it. So, there is a gap between when I started this and when I finished, but hopefully everything is still fresh enough on my mind.
Submissives hold all the power…or do they?
In the world of consensual BDSM play, yes that does include the milder side streets of domestic discipline and spanking, there is a lot of talk about how the submissive or bottom has all the power in the relationship. I’m going to say something controversial here: I don’t believe this is true or should be true.
Continue reading “Submissives hold all the power…or do they?”
Musings of a Chaotic Mind 