The creations of Kessily Lewel (and Sadie Marks)
The phrase, Consensual Non-Consent, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies a sex or kink act where non-consensual things happen, which isn’t the case. Informed consent is always involved with CNC.
However, the activities may look non-consensual even though they aren’t, because consent has already been established at another time.
Continue reading “What Is Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)?”
Ethical bratting is one of those phrases I’ve been using for so long, that I’m not sure if I made it up or just heard it somewhere. When I was new to the scene, I was a brat, like many new submissives.
And don’t get me wrong, I can still be bratty with certain people. We all have bratty moments, I think. But I no longer identify as a brat and haven’t for a very long time.
It’s the easiest transition to submitting because in a lot of ways it replicates what we experience in childhood. Someone in authority gives us rules. We break them. We get punished — rinse and repeat.
Read more: Ethical Bratting 101 Continue reading “Ethical Bratting 101”
So last week we discussed topping from the bottom. I described what it was, and why it’s often not such horrible thing. But what we didn’t discuss is how to tell the difference between communication and topping from the bottom.
As I’ve said, sometimes Doms confuse asking for things with topping from the bottom. Those are two very different things. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want. Communication is the sign of a healthy relationship.
So…
Continue reading “Topping From The Bottom – Part Two”
Let’s talk about topping from the bottom. If you search the topic online, you’ll pull up tons of articles saying why it’s B-A-D.
This accusation has been leveled at subs, of all types, for decades, but what does it actually mean? Are you doing it without being aware? Is it really a huge problem?
This is a big topic with a lot of facets to discuss so I’ll be breaking it up into two sections.
What is Topping from the bottom?
Continue reading “Topping From The Bottom – Part One”
In the first part of this series we discussed how the Scene has changed positively with the past couple of generations coming in, and how popular media has also changed things. We discussed abusive dynamics and why it’s a good idea to avoid them.
You can find the whole article here: Exploring a Kink Relationship Safely (Part One)
In part two we talked about abusers, important questions to ask of a new Dominant, and conversation techniques you can use to make sure you’re talking to someone who will be healthy for you.
You can find the whole article here: Exploring a Kink Relationship Safely (Part Two) Important Questions and Conversation Techniques
Now we’re going to discuss red flags. The hard part here isn’t always spotting red flags… sometimes it’s acting on them. I think most of us know a warning when we see it. If not the first one, then by the third or fourth we’re definitely starting to be aware of a pattern.
Continue reading “Exploring a Kink Relationship Safely (Part Three): Red Flags”
Musings of a Chaotic Mind 