Submission – Page 7 – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

November 5, 2021October 21, 2021

Can I Have a Dom Outside of a Vanilla Relationship? Part Two

So last week I talked a little about my experience with the lifestyle and how I’ve always had Doms outside of my romantic relationships. I came at the question from the experience of someone who has no reason not to look outside my marriage when I want or need something, because I’m poly and have known it since I was a teenager.

But not everyone is in a relationship where things are more open. Some people go into a marriage or partnership planning to only have one person in their life, but when your needs don’t match that can be a problem.

October 29, 2021October 21, 2021

Can You Have A Dom Outside of a Vanilla Relationship? Part 1

Even though we’re going to be discussing Doms for the most part, there is really more to this question. Basically, what it’s asking is: If I need something I can’t get in my marriage, is it okay to find it elsewhere.

This stemmed from an email I received last week with the question in the title, but as I started thinking about it, I realized that is a small part of a much bigger conversation. And there’s a lot there that I’m not going to get into because it’s out of my focus.

September 10, 2021September 10, 2021

Manage Your Expectations

This article has been on my mind for a while now, but I’ve had trouble getting the words right. Usually if I wait long enough things will more-or-less form up in my head and then I can spill them out in one long whoosh.

That didn’t seem to be happening with this one and then I realized it was because I was working with the wrong title.

I started out with: Subs Are Not Children. And that’s true. Even if the sub identifies as a Little or a Brat, they aren’t children. The distinction between a childish headspace and a child is hugely important for many reasons.

But that’s not really what I want to discuss right now, so I gave it a title that more accurately reflects what I was trying to say: Manage your expectations. That is nice and compact, but it’s also a bit vague.

August 13, 2021August 4, 2021

What Do I Do If My Needs Aren’t Being Met?

My last serious blog post discussed relationship maintenance, especially where it applies to D/s partners. The importance of occasionally going through your rules and protocols to discuss what’s working and what isn’t, cannot be underestimated.

May 28, 2021May 28, 2021

Punishing a Submissive Part One: What’s the Point of Punishing an Adult Anyway?

There’s a lot of misunderstandings about punishment. Lots of people are confused about why we do it and what is the purpose of it is.