bdsm – Page 10 – Musings of a Chaotic Mind

June 10, 2022June 3, 2022

Aftercare in a Long-Distance Relationship

How do you do aftercare in a long-distance relationship?

This is a question that comes up now and then. More people than usual have found themselves in long-distance relationships over the past couple years. Maybe they never expected to be, but Covid forced the issue, so LD relationships have been a big topic.

I was asked about it again recently and I realized I hadn’t done a stand-alone blog post on the subject. I think there was some discussion on aftercare in the main Long-Distance D/s series I did, but it’s probably worth doing on its own.

So, how do you do aftercare when your partner is far away, and you can’t really touch them? Short answer: the same way you do everything else from a distance—with adaptations. The long answer is a little more complicated so let’s dive into it.

February 18, 2022February 19, 2022

Older Subs with Younger Doms Part One

This is a topic you don’t see covered often. You don’t see it on many non-fiction blogs or websites, but you also don’t see it much in fiction either. I’ve been building up to discuss it for a while, so I’m going to take my time and lay it all out for you in two parts.

Let’s start with some questions I’ve received about this subject:

January 28, 2022January 3, 2022

Things Every Kinky Person Should Know When Trying Bondage

So just a forewarning to start with: bondage is not my number one kink. I like it, but for me it’s a side kink that goes with all the other stuff. It’s a way to restrain while spanking or doing other things, more than exciting on its own.

Which isn’t to say I haven’t had my share of bondage adventures. It’s just that if you are looking for extremely detailed how-tos you will probably find better examples on other blogs. People who are realllly into bondage will be happy to walk you through every knot, every style, and every type of bondage there is.

What I want to give you is some brief advice about safety in bondage from my own experience. Especially for people who are just beginning to explore.

January 7, 2022December 27, 2021

How Do I Bring Up the Topic of Kink with My Partner?

Boy, did this use to be a huge issue! Don’t get me wrong, it can still be difficult now, but it’s a lot easier than it used to be.

I can’t tell you the number of people in the lifestyle I knew who simply never got the courage to tell their partner about their need for kink. Some of them denied themselves for most of their lives because of that fear.

I literally know widows and widowers who never got a chance to explore until their spouse of many years passed on. There are a surprising number older newbies in the scene for this exact reason.

Others made the decision to explore outside of their marriage and keep it secret. There were lots of justifications for this and in some cases, you can totally understand why they made that choice.

December 17, 2021December 16, 2021

What Is Something Every New Submissive Exploring a Kinky Lifestyle Needs to Know?

Someone asked me this question a while back and I made a note of it (as I do) for the blog. When people ask me things it generally means other people are out there with the same questions. I figure that makes it good content to write about.

So, if there was just one thing I could tell a brand-new subby who is just starting to dip their toes in the kink pool, it would be this:

Don’t settle. Don’t rush. Don’t let loneliness, or need, push you into accepting the first Top/Dom who looks interested. Don’t let your inner bully tell you that you can’t do better and that if you don’t snatch them up you’ll never find someone.