Growing Up Kinky

We’ve had a lot of serious topics here lately. That’s because I notice people really like them. I’ve had numerous people contact me and talk about how helpful those relationship posts can be, so I’ve made them a focus for the past few months, but I think it’s time for something fun.

Most of us who have found a kinky lifestyle, especially people with a spanking interest, will tell you that they remember having the interest from a very young age. Being spanked or not being spanked by parents doesn’t seem to matter much. We, as a community have done numerous polls over the years about whether people get into these fetishes because they were spanked, and it basically comes out about even. Half of us were, half of us weren’t, but somehow, we all ended up here just the same.

But one thing most of us have in common is fond memories of spanking clips in cartoons and movies, and in children’s books. Most of us, for instance, can remember looking up the word spanking in the dictionary—every dictionary we passed. No matter how many times you read the exact same thing there was something thrilling about seeing the word and the definition in print.

I can’t really explain what seeing or reading about spankings as a child felt like. It wasn’t a sexual turn-on I was way too young for that. It was more like an insatiable curiosity. When a favorite cartoon came on, one that I knew contained a spanking in it, I would be absolutely glued to the set. When I saw a kid’s book with a spanking in it, I would have to reread the scene over and over. And I know I’m not alone in this, many spanko friends over the years have talked about similar memories.

It shouldn’t be any surprise that when budding spankos log online without supervision one of the first things they put into Google is spanking and from there … wow. It really opens up doors. For me that happened in my teens and it was a couple years before I did anything with that information.

I think times are changing now. Kids are learning younger all the time about kink, about fetishes, and about D/s. I have seen kids as young as 13-14 years old roleplaying this stuff online together. Yikes!

The upside is a lot of them are better informed than most of us were when we entered the scene. There’s so much more information out there for them to learn from, and a lot of good resources for the curious. But they do miss out on that whole experience of innocently staring wide-eyed at some random cartoon or movie with an unexpected spanking and not knowing why it’s so thrilling.

Of course, there also aren’t that many innocent discipline spankings on television anymore either. Sometimes an old cartoon might come on, but that’s rare.  Since we have, as a society, mostly moved on from the idea of disciplining kids and wives with spanking, there’s just not a lot of context to introduce it in a more innocent fashion.

Now if a wife is being spanked it’s usually as part of a complicated D/s relationship with consent and sexual overtones. So, you’re not going to see that played out in a sitcom very often and you especially won’t see it in material aimed at a younger audience.

Spankings in cartoons, kid’s books, and comic strips used to be normal because getting spanked was a normal part of life then. Now it isn’t for most.

When you do see it play out now it’s aimed at adults for the most part and is either done as comedy (Family Guy) as foreplay (A little spanking during sex pops up in many movies and shows all the time.),  or as punishment but in an obvious BDSM relationship (50Shades, Secretary). And overwhelmingly the dynamic we see is with the woman in charge. Dominatrixes in form-fitting leather are very popular these days and seem to pop up all over.

Because of the history of men dominating women, and the negative connotations of it, Femdomme suddenly became much more acceptable to the world at large for a while. It was a pretty heavy shift. At the same time that romance novels back in the 90’s were dropping the traditional ‘heroine gets spanked’ scenes, and husbands stopped tossing naughty wives over their laps during family shows, women spanking men seemed to become more popular in media. And so F/M and even F/F scenes were more likely to pop up, but M/F became rare, especially anything that seemed like punishment.

The sweet, not-too-hard, punishment spanking in The Big Bang Theory (2012) was an exception to the rule, but even there they made sure it was obvious that she was goading him to do it because she found it a turn-on. He was naively clueless to the fact that he was being manipulated into it—which puts her firmly in charge and adds a comedic element, so no one took it seriously.

Plus adding a bit of sexual turn-on to punishment has become a way of getting around the whole ‘He’s a misogynist. How dare!’ accusations that people were worried about when they started back-peddling and ripping out those non-con spank scenes. Weeds used it successfully back in 2008 when Esteban thoroughly spanks Nancy in the back of his limo. It was hard, obviously punishment, and it shocked the hell out of her. But by adding in a later scene where she is caressing the marks and clearly looking floaty it becomes more of a sexy thing.

In fact, she liked it so much she seeks out the same kind of treatment from him and other men later. All incredibly realistic behavior for a submissive, I thought. I’ve probably seen those scenes dozens of times and they never get old.

Lately, since the 50Shades books hit mainstream popularity, and the first movie came out in 2015, it’s seemed like we’re starting to shift more towards a balance. Yay! I’m all for equality. I don’t choose my dynamics by gender and have had both men and women, and even a couple I would say were gender fluid though claiming that is a fairly new thing. I enjoy any well-done spanking scene, so I consider this a great trend.

But I do miss the innocent spankings. The ‘for your own good!’ punishments that would pop up out of nowhere in a mainstream show or book. I’ll be honest, those scenes interest me on a whole different level than steamy stories or porn that are specifically made for kinky people. They just feel more real because you don’t know they are coming.

What spanking aficionado doesn’t remember watching Desi spank Lucy for her ridiculous shenanigans? What kinky person doesn’t have fond memories of the many spankings both adult, and kid, from the Ponderosa. It seemed like Lorne Green and his sons must have spanked half the world while that show ran.

I still remember most of the cartoons I saw with spanking, vividly. Most of them didn’t involve actual humans but anthropomorphic animals or things. There was child beaver who got spanked by his dad’s big flat beaver tail for being lazy. There was a kid car being spanked by his taxi car dad because he wanted to be a race car when he grew up.

Most of those played out a specific script. Child disappoints parent, is spanked, runs away, eventually found for a loving reunion, and the parent feels terrible about what they did and will now be better parents because of it. I think most kids were meant to love it because of the last part. But then there were some of us who enjoyed it for other reasons.

And all the spankings on Tom and Jerry! Is it just me or does it seem like there was a spanking in every 5^th episode of that cartoon? Tom spanked Jerry’s adopted son, Nibbles, with a fly swatter, and we even saw the bright red bum! Jerry spanked Nibbles once too, over the knee and everything. Jerry paddled Tom hard for being mean to a little kitten and trying to throw her out of the house.

And of course, the infamous scene where Professor Tom spanks Topsy (another kitten) over his knee. That one was made into gif form and rarely does a day on social media go by when I don’t see someone using it.

Whether you’re old enough to have seen the originals, caught them on reruns, or just stumbled over them through web searches it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ve seen at least some of what I’m talking about. But hey if you want to walk down memory lane, you can head over to Youtube where there’s a ton of old spanking cartoons archived.  Three cheers for the spanking nerds who saved and uploaded these!

Unfortunately, some of the ones I remember so clearly, I’ve never been able to find online yet. But I did find this gem! The anthropomorphic taxicab who spanks his son. It’s the most adorable thing because apparently cars have bare butts inside the trunk, which I somehow never realized was weird when I was a kid. So, that’s a thing you know now. https://vimeo.com/216211987

Anyway, I had fun doing this and I’m thinking of doing another one soon where I talk about some of the children’s books with spanking in them. These are fun topics and I hope they stir up good memories of your early spanko days. If you feel like it, because I’m wildly curious, in the comments I’d love to hear about the first spanking you saw on tv or in a book as a child.

If you didn’t realize the interest until you were an adult let me know that too. It does happen but that’s usually more for people who only connect spanking to sex, like a bedroom sub. Those of us with a discipline fetish usually do catch on young. Everyone’s experiences are different though. Oh and if you’re shy about public comments you can e-mail me your comment and I’ll quote you anonymously if I do a follow up on this.

Remember stay safe, stay healthy, and stay home if you can!