I did promise some more articles on Littles and this one has been on my mind for a while.
A lot of people think they might be Littles, or have a Little side, but because they are single or don’t have a partner who would be interested in being a Caretaker, they feel like it’s not something they can explore on their own.
That’s just not true. You don’t have to have a Caretaker to be a Little. There are plenty of Littles out there who don’t have Bigs and are fine with it. I call them Feral Littles.
Feral Littles are Littles who love being in kid headspace, just for the sake of the freedom and innocent fun. They play and exist in that headspace on their own without needing a parental figure around all the time.
As far as I know the term Feral Littles is mine. I’ve been using it for years now and I’ve never seen it anywhere else. It actually came from my time on Second Life. Second Life (SL), for those who don’t know, is a virtual world.
It’s not a game. There are all kinds of games in it, but it’s literally just a virtual world where you can create or be anything you want. It has a thriving economy. It has stores where you can shop. It has huge sims (Islands or large plots of land) devoted to Roleplay.
And kids are extremely common there—but not real kids. In order to be on Second Life, you need to be an adult. But I would say half the population are adults in child avatars who are running around having fun. I’m not going to go into more detail now because I do intend to talk a lot about this on a future post about spending quality time with your long distance Little.
For now, let me just paint a picture. You can be a child of any age, but you don’t need parents. And you can do anything you want. For some Littles that’s the best kind of fun. And while they might actually find parents/family and get adopted, SL still allows them to do more exploring than any real child would ever be able to do.
While family is the whole point of the experience for some Littles, others are happy just running around on their own, cuddling stuffed animals, playing games, going to theme parks without having to bother with a cranky adult saying no.
I started calling them Feral Littles and it carried over to real life. This type of Little sometimes comes close enough to be cuddled, but then they are off again. They will listen, when they feel like it. They don’t need or want constant supervision interrupting their playtime.
Adding a Daddy or Caretaker isn’t what they are looking for, at least not all the time. Maybe they have a Caretaker and do enjoy time with them, but that doesn’t keep them from enjoying their playtime alone just as much.
Some people become Littles specifically because they need/want to be taken care of. Their whole desire out of the experience is to have a caretaker who will love and protect them. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
For a number of Littles, that need comes from having had a terrible childhood the first time around. Getting a chance to have a non-abusive parent when you never experienced that growing up is a perfectly valid reason to be a Little.
But it’s not the only one. Some people find ageplay/ age regression therapeutic for other reasons. Some people just need to escape adult responsibilities. So whether or not a Little wants or needs a Big/Caretaker depends a lot on their reasons for getting into ageplay.
There are plenty of Littles for whom the simple act of regressing to a childish headspace is all they need. They want to color, play with Legos, watch cartoons, maybe cuddle with toys. That is relaxation for them.
They are Littles because it’s who they need to be. And that need is often not connected to kink, or any kind of relationship feelings. Though they may get an urge to be naughty and get punished now and then if they do also have a punishment kink in addition to enjoying ageplay.
I would like to normalize the idea that being a Little is not just about Daddies and Mommies. It’s not just about being in a relationship at all. In fact, I think it’s really important that when you explore these things you find fulfilling reasons to do it for yourself that are not just an aspect of a relationship with someone else.
Ageplay can be wonderfully fulfilling for a Little on their own and I think that’s something a lot of people miss out on. There seems to be an idea that if you are a Little you need to have a Big or be actively searching for one.
It leads to Littles moping around sad because they don’t have a caretaker. Some people talk about wanting to be a Little, but then never let themselves experience it because they are on their own.
So… if you’re a Little out there who doesn’t have or want a caretaker partner you are definitely not alone.
If you are a Little who loves having a Daddy or Mommy, but you equally love sitting by yourself and singing along to cartoons while you color, that is also valid—and I would say a very healthy way to explore this dynamic.
Remember kids are still kids even when adults aren’t there to bounce off of. Kids have whole lives of their own that don’t revolve around their parents and the same can be true for Littles. I think it’s healthy for Littles to let themselves open up their world enough that they feel comfortable being Little when they are by themselves or in the company of other Littles.
And if you are a Little who feels fragile and lost if your Big isn’t right next to you all the time, that perfectly okay too. But it might be interesting for you to explore things you can do on your own when your caretaker isn’t there.
You could have Little friends and play together—yes even long distance! You could watch cartoons and color on your own. You can enjoy Little space without having a caretaker there.
Each of us is different and has different needs, so I do recognize that some only want the relationship aspects of being a Little. They get nothing out of it if they aren’t exploring it with a caretaker, But I do want to spread the message that this isn’t the only option.
Even if you are looking for a Daddy/ Mommy and want one eventually, you don’t have to wait until you have one to enjoy this experience. You can be who you are and find ways to enjoy that mindset on your own.
Have cookies for dinner. Take a bath instead of a shower and throw some rubber duckies and bubbles into the tub to play with. Take wicked delight in being in kid-space while doing things you know a kid isn’t supposed to do. (Just stick to physically safe things!)
Let yourself relax and play because it’s worth it on its own even if you don’t have a Daddy there to spoil you.
Claim that Feral Little title and have fun!
4 Replies to “Feral Littles and Being a Little Without a Caretaker”
Amazing post, and I love the idea of “feral littles”!
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Thank you! I do too. There is so much fun to be had when you’re in kid space and unsupervised lol. I think more people should take advantage of it.
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So my Dom has a little, that he wasn’t totally up front about in the beginning. He said he was just her protector because men were harassing her, ok she has a husband, tell him to do that. Okay. I agreed that he was her protector till one day my mind starting wondering, what all do you do when you go to her house before you come to mine.? He said cuddle, she likes to be tied up. He left it at that, I said do you guys have sex? He said we used to till she had to go off the pill because it was messing up stuff and making her sick so we don’t have sex now, does she suck you or you play with her female area?? Yes, he said. It hit a trigger and has bothered me since but why does it bother me? Am the Sub, yes I get all of his attention but when I ask to see their messages he gets defensive, and says that’s her privacy. I dont think it’s fair, and I’ve treaten him with a pick her or me. I don’t think it would have went my direction, I think he would have picked his little, which makes me sad and feel like he doesn’t deserve me as his Sub.
Well, there’s a lot going on there… A D/s protector is a lot different from a husband, especially if her husband doesn’t know she’s a Little or a sub. It sounds like he wants to be her protector and that’s fine but I guess the first thing I wondered was… do you have any agreements about monogamy or being committed to each other sexually? Or about having other D/s relationships?
It sounds to me like you don’t want to share–which is perfectly fine. Not everyone is made to share, but it’s something that you do need to agree on and discuss. It also sounds like this was a shock to you and something you hadn’t expected which could be part of why you’re upset. D/s depends on honesty and if he kept secrets from you that would be a big trigger for many people.
You don’t have a right to see her messages, he’s right about that. It’s her privacy and she has a right to it. But you DO have a right to decide if you’re willing to share, and you do have a right to set up guidelines for what you’re willing/able to do in this relationship. If you can’t share than unfortunately it is going to come down to you or her.