Bruising And Marks

We recently talked about Impact Play here. I had actually intended to post this article first, but I realized it made more sense to wait until after I posted the one on Impact Play, since one of the things a lot of people love about that kind of BDSM are the marks it leaves behind.

This article will be a bit longer, because I want to discuss why so many people love to wear the marks of their play, but also talk about ways to avoid marks that last longer, like bruising.

Why do so many submissives love to wear marks?

If you are a sub or bottom of whatever type, who enjoys spanking, then chances are you know what I’m talking about right now. There is nothing quite like looking at the aftermath of a good spanking or paddling, and seeing all the red marks and maybe even some bruises that are left behind.

From my perspective, it just makes you feel completely owned when there are marks. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this, and it’s one facet of scenes that has even made it into shows and movies.

Does anyone remember the episode of Weeds where Nancy gets spanked by Estaban (Hard!) in the back of his limo. When he lets her up, she has this dazed shell-shocked look on her face, like she’s just discovered something about herself.  Later we see her standing in front of the mirror, looking at the marks, running her fingers over them, and obviously… not minding.

Oh, but wait… here’s a clip for you. She consents… kind of, but she doesn’t know what she’s consenting to so be aware of that when you watch. Also this is a NSFW website.  https://www.xvideos.com/video22857399/spanking_punish_-_s4e7_tv_movie_film

That look on her face. The way her hands are drawn to trace the marks… that is how most submissives feel after being spanked. We just love to see the evidence of it and the longer it lasts the better.

There are a lot of reasons for this.

For masochists, marks, especially bruises, mean you get to feel the pain longer. Poking and prodding a bruise isn’t uncommon just to make it burn a little more.

Plus, as I said, on an emotional level, it makes you feel owned. There’s some deeper stuff in there too. BDSM scenes can be incredibly exciting, but once the scene is over, your endorphins are all over the place and they take your emotions with them.

We love to remember what happened, and how it felt, and seeing some tangible remnant of it left behind helps with that. It also helps to ground us because we can see and feel physical proof of our submission.

My Dom did this. Their hands made these marks. I’m safe. I’m loved. In some ways, it’s a tactile reminder of who you are.

So, while I can’t speak for every submissive/bottom/brat/Little out there, I can say the vast majority I’ve known look forward to seeing the marks when the scene is over.

But sometimes being marked is a bad idea, and there can be a lot of reasons for this.

You might have a doctor’s appointment and don’t want them thinking you’ve been abused. You might have a significant other who doesn’t know you are kinky and the marks would be a dead giveaway. You might have health reasons to avoid deep tissue bruising or anything that could break the skin.

What if you need to minimize the aftereffects of an Impact Play scene?

Most welts and redness will go away on their own within a few hours. So this is mostly going to apply to bruising, or thick welts, like from a cane.

There are a lot of things you can do to mitigate the aftereffects. Some of them have to be done before the scene starts and some can be done after. If you know in advance that you’re going to have a scene that involves Impact play, you can take some steps.

Before you play:

First of all, be aware if you’re taking anything that can make bruising worse. Also note that I am not qualified to give you medical advice. This is direct from the Mayo Clinic:

Certain medications may contribute to easy bruising by decreasing the blood’s ability to clot.

These include aspirin; ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, others); naproxen sodium (Aleve); anticoagulant medications, such as warfarin (Jantoven), dabigatran (Pradaxa), rivaroxaban (Xarelto), apixaban (Eliquis) and heparin; and anti-platelet agents, such as clopidogrel (Plavix), prasugrel (Effient) and ticagrelor (Brilinta). Some antibiotics and antidepressants also might be associated with clotting problems.

As a result, bleeding from damage to small blood vessels near the skin’s surface might take longer than usual to stop. This allows enough blood to leak out under the skin to cause a bruise.

Topical and systemic corticosteroids can be used to treat various conditions, including allergies, asthma and eczema. Corticosteroids thin the skin, making it easier to bruise. Certain dietary supplements, such as ginkgo biloba, also can increase bruising risk due to a blood-thinning effect. (Citation from: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/healthy-aging/in-depth/easy-bruising/art-20045762 )

Obviously, if you are on prescription medications, you should definitely not stop taking them. However, if you are taking something over the counter optionally like a supplement or a painkiller like Advil, and you feel it would be safe to stop them for 3-5 days before the scene, that would make your body less likely to bruise.

There are other things you can do in advance too. Did you know that eating pineapple or taking pineapple extract for two weeks in advance can drastically reduce swelling? It’s recommended by doctors before certain kinds of surgeries. There are other supplements that work too. You can find a list here: https://www.upmc.com/services/dermatology/cosmetic-skin/services/cosmetic-surgery/minimize-bruising

Alcohol increases bruising so don’t drink before a scene and if possible, avoid it for twenty-four hours in advance.

During the scene:

 During a scene there are obvious ways to avoid marks, other than redness. You can’t really do any kind of Impact Play without at least some redness, but you can avoid bruising and thick welts by sticking to sting rather than thud.

With spanking your hand is obviously the best option, and if you have a heavy hand, you will want to lighten up for this. Keep your hand flat, not cupped because cupping makes the spanks more thuddy. And when you bring your hand down, keep the force more to the fingers, rather than the heel of your palm.

Leather implements tend to be more sting than thud and if you use care, you shouldn’t have too many problems. Leather paddles will usually redden but not welt or bruise. Belts, when doubled, are the same, though if it lands on the edge it can leave lines that will last for some hours.

Avoid wood, most of it will bruise. Some, like canes or switches, can leave thick welts or even cut the skin.

Riding crops, while leather, can give vastly different effects. If you use them, you’ll want to be sure to slap with just the leather tip. Avoid the crops with the narrow hard tips. The ones with the triangular flap should deliver sting only and should be fine.

With other kinds of Impact Play the rules are a little different. Flogging almost never bruises with a standard suede flogger anyway. But even with something heavier, your back is muscled and can take more without bruising. Avoid the usual no hit zones, of course, and aim for the muscle groupings, especially at the shoulders if you’re using anything heavy.

A light flogger can be used pretty much anywhere safely. The skin will redden but with most floggers that’s the extent of it. The floggers with hard leather tails act more like whips, and can welt if used hard enough, so watch that.

Whips, while they are a type of flogger, are different. Whips usually have only one or two tails. Because of this the impact can be harder. Some whips will bruise, or could cut the skin so unless you are very experienced in using them, I would not risk it if marks are a concern.

Remember that some parts of the body bruise easier than others. Your butt can take a lot and so can your shoulders. Thighs tend to bruise more. Breasts also bruise very easily, especially if they are larger and pendulous.

After the scene:

Now the scene is over, and you want to be sure there won’t be marks, or you suspect there will be and want to work quickly to mitigate them. Start by immediately icing down the skin that’s been marked.

You don’t want to put ice directly on the skin for this, so be sure to wrap it in a cloth or towel. For less mess, try using a bag of frozen peas. 10 minutes on and 20 minutes off. You can do this for a few cycles.

Elevating helps with bruising but that can be difficult for the parts of the body we’re concerned with. You could have the sub on their hands and knees with their head and shoulders down on the floor or bed though and have them stay there. It could work as a wrap up for the scene, while also helping to prevent bruising.

And finally, my favorite way to get rid of bruising is Arnica. It’s used as a topical ointment that you apply directly to the skin a few times a day. Wait until after the icing, of course, but it works really well.

They do have oral types of Arnica. I would not recommend them, as studies have shown some side effects. Also you shouldn’t use Arnica on skin that is seeping, or split. So in that case I would apply Aloe Vera gel (Make sure you get just the gel, no additives) to the skin.

So, now we know why most people like marks, and how to avoid them if you don’t, or if you can’t have them on your body for various reasons. But I feel like I should end on a warning, because we are all about Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) here. (No, I’m not going to repeat my feelings on SSC again, feel free to search it on the blog, if you need a reminder.)

Bruising is a sign of body trauma. It’s an injury, and so are welts and cuts. Regardless of whether we enjoy giving or receiving these marks, they are injuries and all injuries come with a risk.

There was a rumor, at one time, that bruising your breasts could cause cancer. This was based on a very small, poorly run study and it’s pretty much been disproven that bruising can lead to cancer or long-term issues.

That being said, it’s still an injury and you need to take care. I would never tell you that you can’t make the marks last as long as possible, because no one wants to hear that. I will never tell you that you shouldn’t play until you are heavily bruised, because I do the same thing.

But if you have a health issue, like diabetes, where even small injuries can be a problem, you do need to be careful. The advice I gave above about dealing with bruising and cuts is good and you should listen. You don’t have to take my word for it. Please, feel free to go to reliable medical sites to fact check.

I always encourage people to go to multiple sources if they have any doubts, and that goes double for medical issues, because I’m not a doctor.

I have, on many occasions, played hard enough that I was bruised for days, even weeks. I loved it. I loved checking every day and watching the marks fade over time. I know many of us do, but you do need to keep in mind that there are always risks.

Mature scene players know the risks before making choices and that is what RACK is all about. We accept the fact that many BDSM activities are inherently risky, and we keep that in mind when making choices about what dangers we will accept and which we will try to mitigate.

I hope you found this helpful, and please, if you have any questions feel free to comment or email me through the contact button.